[pinkvilla]

I have postpartum depression which for various reasons ,I could not share with my husband.So in the postpartum period my husband was very angry at me for not looking after the baby properly and not doing other chores.I told him I was doing what I could but he was extremely angry and thought I was lazy .

Even though I didn't tell him I had depression,shouldn't he have been a little compassionate? I am rethinking the whole marriage thing now.I can't seem to understand how a spouse could be so angry and call me names even. I know he has some issues at work .But still I can't really comprehend the anger and feel so hurt by it that I don't want to move past this?

I'd very much like how other people see this situation.I just want to make sure I am not over reacting.Please share your opinions because I can use all the help.

[Bill3]

How has he treated generally in your time with him?

[scorpiosis37]

If you didn't tell him that you have postpartum depression and that's why you are not caring for the baby properly, I can understand why he might be upset. There is never an excuse for calling you names, but if he is having to pull more than his 50%, then he is probably over tired and stressed out and struggling himself. Since you are not being honest with him about what is going on with you, he doesn't have the importation he needs to be able to understand you and show compassion. He just sees that you are not caring for the baby and he has to pick up the slack. If he is your husband, why aren't you being honest with him? It's really hard to make a marriage work if you are not telling your spouse what is going on.

[Travelinglady]

I am wondering why you can't tell him why you are not able to do as much as he thinks you should. Good communication is important for a successful marriage. That said, adding a baby changes the marriage dynamics. Some men even feel a bit jealous when they baby is getting more attention. Plus there can be the sexual issues. Men want things to continue the way they were in many respects, and that's no possible after a baby enters their lives.

If you two can't tell each other your feelings, then I am concerned about your relationship.

I found that getting out in public with the baby helped me. I couldn't stand staying at home all the time. (I had some depression, too.)

Can you talk to your gynecologist or baby's doctor about your depression? They could suggest some things to help, possibly even an antidepressant. There's no need to suffer alone. Plus we are here for you.

Here's a place that can help, if you haven't seen it already: http://forums.psychcentral.com/postpartum-depression/.

[pinkvilla]

Thanks for your replies.In general,he always was kind to me though he has anger issues.I couldnot share this with him because he doesn't believe in mental illness and will pressure me to will it out. I have seen him refer to an acquaintance as crazy when she had anxiety issues.
That's why I was reluctant to share it with him and God knows,that was the toughest decision I made.

[scorpiosis37]

If you are mentally ill and your partner doesn't believe in mentall illness so you are not telling him about it, the prognosis for your relationship is not very good. In order to have a successful relationship, you really need to be able to open up to and trust your partner. Perhaps if you slowly explained the situation to him or brought him with you to a therapy session, you could get him to entertain the possibility that mentall illness is real and you are suffering. If he calls people with mentall illness "crazy" and you don't feel like you can talk to him or get support from him, why do you want to be with him? If you are ever going to have a real relationship, it seems that you need honesty and communication.