[JOANNE1313]

my brother has never been close to me.whenever he has opened his mouth he has always shown he knows nothing about me. I've had a difficult life and done very well and he really understands nothing about me.

i have got health conditions such as chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. he wasnt there for me when i raised children on my own and had many challenges in my life and i was very alone. He lived 3 minutes away and he has spent his life being kind and caring to anyone else and ignoring my suffering and needs and those of my children. I no longer care about wanting his caring as i see how he always says the most ridiculous and hurtful things and tries to put me down as if its my fault that he hasnt helped that i'm difficult irresponsible depressed or any number of put downs from him

his latest thing is he has no relationship with me, no communication, no connection, but he is constantly contacting me badgering me to see a psychiatrist and go on drugs.

I know i am doing well. i have professionals who have never been impressed with him and who feel he is the worst type of bully and have advised me to block him on my phone etc.

i have probably the best year of my life ahead of me and i'm sick of allowing others into my life who drain or hurt me , well meaning as they may be. I want to have this wonderful year and i dont want to alllow anyone to ruin it , drain me, put me down.
Years ago some draining people used to hurt or drain or abuse me and i didnt know how to shut them out. they thought if they helped me with one thing then they suddenly were authorised to self appoint themselves as my counsellor and they really abused and damaged me. I no longer want damaging peoiple in my life who sidetrack me from my happiness.

what would you do or say to shut up an abusive brother. he apparently has suffered depression and found drugs useful. if i express any pain of anything i've been through or of him not being caring for me while i went through so much, he immediately bombards me with all sorts of put downs, criticisims of with demands that i go on medication. quite frankly, me and anyone around me any doctors or psychologists have had enough. I no longer wish he was caring as now i see he never understood or cared and people like that would just be a liability hurting and abusing rather than encouraging so i dont long for him or anyone like that in my life

i hve now blocked him, but has anyone else got words of how to live my own happy life and not be pulled down but abusiving interfering people around me

or how to shut up a brother who demands i go on medication when he knows nothing about me ever in decades, we have no relationship or closeness at all and i'm determined to have my happiest year ever with the lessons i've learnt of keeping abusive bullying peoiple who dont understand me , out of my life.

May I ask what is it about him, besides him suggesting you see a therapist and try medication, that seems abusive?

[Rose76]

When a conversation becomes insulting or abusive toward you, then you need to end the conversation - promptly. Some people test us to see what we'll put up with. I went through that with a brother. You have to teach people what you absolutely will not put up with. What you do about your mental health is your own business, so promptly tell people, "I am not looking for advise on that matter." when they start telling you what you should do.

On the other hand, you may seem to be looking for advise if you are telling people much about your issues and frustrations. Having good boundaries is not just about keeping others from meddling in your affairs. It is also about not sharing too much that is your personal business.

Unfortunately, you sometimes have to just minimalist your contact with a person who can't seem to respect your boundaries.