[sabby]

I'm so frustrated with my youngest daughter right now. She continually makes the same mistake over and over and over again. I don't know when she will break the bad habit and learn from it and move on for good. Maybe she never will *sigh*

I am her mom, I love her to pieces. I want to be supportive but how many times can I continually be there for her when she keeps going back to the same thing and refuses to let go of it?

I grow weary of watching her go round and round with this situation. She'll get to the point of being completely angry and frustrated and she'll get out of the situation. Some time goes by and whammo, she's right back into it again wearing rose colored glasses and dreams of "what it can be".

How do I distance myself from this problem yet at the same time co-exist with her? I don't want to get to the point of getting mad and yelling and saying things I don't really mean, just saying them out of frustration. But I feel it coming on and I have to do something to not go there. But what????

I know she has to find her own way and that I can't do this for her. I also know that it's killing me inside to watch her continually make the same mistake over and over and over again.

I don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut. I've said enough to her already in the past about how to help herself. I've given her the tools she needs to do this. I know I can't do it for her. I'm getting so frustrated I just want to go away and never come back again.

God, I need to get a life. *sigh*

[Direction]

Gosh - it felt like your description of your daughter could be me - I don't know what she is repeating - but I've definately repeated behavious that don't have good results.

You gave her the tools...now it is up to her...

Just like everyone here needs support of one kind of another, I guess my advice is not to sever your relationship unless it is highly toxic...

Just some thoughts...as I don't really know what is going on.

[Christina86]

((((((((((Jean))))))))))))

How old is your daughter? I know I'm the oldest of three, being almost 21 and I swear my mother thinks I'm never going to learn from my mistakes. You've tried to help, you've been a good mother and supportive - hopefully she eventually stops making the same mistakes.

sorry, not much help I know...

[SeptemberMorn]

Guess it would depend on her age, Jean. If she's an adult, then all you can do is let her suffer the consequences. When she has a problem, tell her you don't want to know about it because you've been through it before and she knows what the outcome will be.

If she's not an adult yet, then set your foot down.

At any rate, I wish the best for the two of you.

[sunrise]

If she's an adult, I would suggest getting a bit more distance. She will make her mistakes, not much you can do if she is an adult. And hopefully she will learn from them in time. If you are living with her and she is an adult, perhaps her moving out would help, so you don't have to see her repeated mistakes up close so frequently.

[deborah42]

i think i know what you are trying to say.my own daughter is 21 years old.........she also has some issues that she doesnt see as problems but as her mom i do....i feel i could only talk to herfor a short time because i find it draining the strengh out of me....but i will always be there for her.shes my daughter

[snowflake_48888]

(((((((sabby))))))))
my goes out to you....been there, done that...still doing it with my 30 yr old daughter. I sit and wonder...will she ever learn....
Snowy

[sabby]

Thank you all very much for your responses! I hear you and know exactly what you are saying. I try so hard to not get involved, to not "make the same mistakes with her" so to speak. LOL

While I was writing this post, she came in to speak to me. Many things have happened since my original post and I do believe that she has finally gotten to the point of cutting this toxic relationship off for good. I am somewhat skeptical, but encouraged at the moment.

I pray that she finds the strength to stay away, to keep him away, to begin taking care of herself. She is a good girl and so deserves to take care of herself and be happy.

Again, thank you for all your input. I truly appreciate it!



Hugsssss
J