[BambiBar93]

So I just got married this past week, and I am the happiest girl alive! I just have something I need advice on how to properly handle a certain subject that my husband and I are very different on. From the beginning of our relationship my husband has been very affectionate towards me, there is not one doubt in my mind that he loves me. I had made the decision at a very young age to stay a virgin until I got married. I half did that. My now husband is the only man I have ever done it with. I had explained this to him right away and he respected my wishes. About two weeks into dating he started telling me that he loved me, about a month in a half later I told him I loved him as well. I knew from that point on that I wanted to marry him. I gave "it" to him. We are now married, so in love, and extremely happy. Except for one thing... how often we do it. From the beginning he's been the same way, He'll only do it every 7-10 days. When we got together he was not a virgin, he had already been engaged before and she cheated on him while he was in the military, so my drive is much stronger than his. We've discussed it before and he does the best he can his drive just isn't there. He loves to hold me, and cuddle, and give me kisses, but sex is almost never there and I'm getting really frustrated... Do any of you have advice?

[Purple Heart]

Hi

Communication is the key. Ask him why only every 7 - 10 days? What does he say then? If he is honest then you can work on your sex life. Still problems? Both go together to a relationship therapist.

PH

[BambiBar93]

We have talked about it. He said he wants to but he just can't. Mentally and emotionally he wants to do it but his body won't let him. It worries me.

[SilverNeurotic]

Maybe he should see a doctor to rule out a physical problem.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

[ComfortablyNumb5]

First off congrats! Now as far as the GUY not wanting it enough is something I've never had a problem with. Ask him what turns him on? Sometimes a simple toy or outfit can do it for him. Has he struggled with depression now or in the past? Me and an ex of mine lived together and didn't have sex for a whole year because he was depressed. I moved on. Is there anything physically wrong like erectile dysfunction? Just have a long talk with him and hopefully he'll open up to you.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Seroquel 300mgs
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

[divine1966]

He can't in terms of not getting erection but do you two do other things? Has he seen a doctor? Why can't a young man have sex unless health problem

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You've said it, he wants to but his body won't let him.

This then suggests there in fact may be a medical reason and he really should see his doctor. There may be a more serious problem, there may be a simple solution.

Whatever you do, don't harp on it; and, NEVER feel you are responsible.

Now for a few questions to consider: how is his self-esteem? How is work going for him? Is there possibly some other outside situation or one deeply personal that is going on? Also, you haven't indicated his age which might point to a medical issue. Also, what is happening to you? Could your own age be a reason for an increased libido (many women experience an increase as they age)? How is your mental health these days? Being happy and hypomanic dramatically increases our drive.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by SilverNeurotic

Maybe he should see a doctor to rule out a physical problem.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

I think this would be the first step. Anything else you try won't work if there's a physical problem going on. If it's not physical, then you can try other things.