[Miracle_angel]

My boyfriend and I got in a argument regarding sex.. He hurt me the night before I told him about it he had gone out hunting with his friends .. I didn't hear from him till I sent him a last message saying he couldn't text me back to see if I was ok.. I was emotionally upset he called I didn't want to argue he showed up at my house extremely upset yelling at me that he had no service and just got back. He asked why I didn't answer his phone calls I just shut down. I couldn't believe that he was mad at me.. All I said was fine when he said he had no service and said he was sorry for what happens and said asked if I was mad I said what do you think.. He said it don't matter what I say you don't believe me and said good night closing the securty door as he was leaving I said good night he said that's it well you said good night.. I dint want to argue but my emotions got the best of me... Now he refuse to answer my phone calls... Was I wrong for getting emotional?? What did I do wrong??? At the moment I felt really hurt emotionally and physically..now my feels hurt even more ...

[ChipperMonkey]

I think if someone is hurting you during sex it's best to say it in the moment while you're having sex. Otherwise if you tell them later they're unsure of exactly what hurt you.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Miracle_angel

My boyfriend and I got in a argument regarding sex.. He hurt me the night before I told him about it he had gone out hunting with his friends .. I didn't hear from him till I sent him a last message saying he couldn't text me back to see if I was ok.. I was emotionally upset he called I didn't want to argue he showed up at my house extremely upset yelling at me that he had no service and just got back. He asked why I didn't answer his phone calls I just shut down. I couldn't believe that he was mad at me.. All I said was fine when he said he had no service and said he was sorry for what happens and said asked if I was mad I said what do you think.. He said it don't matter what I say you don't believe me and said good night closing the securty door as he was leaving I said good night he said that's it well you said good night.. I dint want to argue but my emotions got the best of me... Now he refuse to answer my phone calls... Was I wrong for getting emotional?? What did I do wrong??? At the moment I felt really hurt emotionally and physically..now my feels hurt even more ...

Honestly - judging by his reaction to you I would tend to wonder if this man has abusive tendencies? Has he treated you in this manner before - either emotionally or physically? How long have you been in a relationship?

[Miracle_angel]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Honestly - judging by his reaction to you I would tend to wonder if this man has abusive tendencies? Has he treated you in this manner before - either emotionally or physically? How long have you been in a relationship?

We've been in this relationship for total of ten weeks.. We dated before for two months then he broke up with me saying he wasn't ready for a relationship... We recently got back together after two months we were apart he told me he really does love me and realized he didn't want to lose me..he's really traditional in the Mexican cultuar. He's gone out hunting before with friends and has told me I can go out with my friends but I've notice he doesn't want me going out .. An incident happened a week before holloween I was invited to a party asked him to go he refused saying he was tired and wanted to stay home sense he went out hunting that day with his buddies.. He said have fun and don't drink so I asked him then I'm going solo he didn't answer.. So I went I sent him a pic of me in my costume here liked it said it was sexy then when I get to the party he breaks up with me over text saying it was good while it lasted to party it up... The whole point I came back home after being there an hr.. I texted him saying I was heading home the next day I went to go see him and he said he wasn't breaking up with me but doesn't want me going to partys with out him... Hes been cold with me and asked me why I can't dress up sexy for him so I did .. know this happened...

[Miracle_angel]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I think if someone is hurting you during sex it's best to say it in the moment while you're having sex. Otherwise if you tell them later they're unsure of exactly what hurt you.

Actually I Told him I didn't like him doing that . But he still kept on then I just told him to go slow... He did then after he was done of course he stopped I dint realize how much he hurt me tell the next morning when I realized I was bleeding..and sore...

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Ok - I am going to repost to you what I posted to another person earlier because it is exactly what I would say to you - but I want you to think it over for yourself

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Yes - it is emotional abuse - I have been victim to that n emotional abuse can sometimes be worse than physical or sexual only because there is no "clear evidence" of it happening like a bruise or blood or broken bones or etc - the scars are internal - but it has actually been closely compared to the psychological warfare experienced by POWs by the psychiatrists n psychologists. Abusive people are not always "hurtful" - the abusive relationship goes through a cycle.

Escalation phase - things are not always bad but sometimes they flare up and the abuser will always point out the way the victim "caused" the abuse to occur and may or may not apologize for the action (this is to introduce the idea of "if i just change enough things will get better again")

Explosive phase - abuser is violent (emtionally, psychologically, physically, sexually and/or spiritually)most of the time (and the victim is always told it is their fault and by this time generally believes it to be true) with little break between

Honeymoon phase - abuser is apologetic and promises it will never happen again etc and everything seems to be perfect again

The cycle then repeats

These phases may last weeks or months and because of that it is much like brain washing and very hard for thevictim to break away from because usually the abuser causes the victim to become dependant on them financially, isolates them from family and friends, convinces them nobody wants to be around them - tgerefore they are also dependant on them emotionally, they can also become dependant on them physically if the abuser convinces the victim to move in with them ... The more dependant on the abuser the victim becomes, the easier it is for the abuser to manipulate the mibd control and it becomes very hard to get away - your boyfriend is abusive - get away now before it gets worse if at all possible, go to a shelter if you need to...i did that once

I hope that helps you ...

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

He is also starting to border on physical abuse with you - emotional abuse often leads to physical n at thar point it is very critical that you get out

[popuri88]

"Goes hunting" means he's hitting on other girls?

I'd get away from him...

[ChipperMonkey]

Originally Posted by popuri88

"Goes hunting" means he's hitting on other girls?

I'd get away from him...

Eww. Just eww.

Don't put up with a man who does this!

[Trippin2.0]

R

u

n

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Miracle_angel]

I would like to thank all of you for taking the time and effort on your replys also on your information and suggestions... Thank you I will keep every one posted on this...

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by popuri88

"Goes hunting" means he's hitting on other girls?

I'd get away from him...

Yes, I saw that too! He doesn't sound like a good guy. Already too much drama. Things only get worse. Sex isn't supposed to leave you bleeding.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Miracle_angel

I would like to thank all of you for taking the time and effort on your replys also on your information and suggestions... Thank you I will keep every one posted on this...

Thank you - I will watch for future updates - I am concerned for you but I hope all works out!