[metalchick]

I don't know where to go with this...I am actually quite embarrassed to talk about it.

So for some time my "boyfriend" and I have been having some major issues. Mostly I am sick of him lying to me. I am fighting back and he does not like it. What started this was that he lies about paying bills, we bought a house together and he has not really paid anything in any way...This goes back 12 years so I am trying to keep it brief. Because of his actions I gave up having a life...food on the table and roof over the head for our kids...or go out all the time.

He also lies about whenever this girl is around and when they go out. He has lied about her being friends with our neighbor and really is head goes completely up his *** when she is around.

Well all of a sudden he started going to work all the time and working doubles on the weekends. This does not come from a person who is a habitual no call no show. I think that he is with that girl instead. Supposedly she does not work overtime, but when his car breaks down, there she is to pick him up. I saw them kiss too and he had her arm around her. He then got out of the car and was looking right at me. Also supposedly she is his best friend, but I did not meet her for two years until I came home early from work one day and there she was parked in my parking spot...It was obvious that he did not want us to meet...Oh yeah he also washed her car and drove it around for awhile. But what was really disturbing was that he did not wake up for work one night. He blamed me (I actually was up, but was having a massive allergy attack and really was not paying attention to the time) He usually yells at me anyway when I wake him up so I have to send my daughter to do it, but she happenend to fall asleep. He kept on yelling at me so I told him to go f**k his 24 year old girlfriend. He called me a fat sausage and we have not spoken in two weeks.
We have been going through periods of time like this...no Hi, No bye, No nothing....Honestly I think I really hate him. Too much time has passed and nothing is being resolved. He shows up 4-6 hours after a shift ends and tells me he's been working,,,for what I wonder...he never has any money, he never pays for repairs or broken things. I can't ask him anything because he tells me to do it myself...When my intention was us fixing something together.

He always has some sort of comeback...like fine you want me to pay for my part of the car insurance...I won't pay the babysitter then....WTF.

And I am like ummm, I helped you to pay all your debt, you took tens of thousands of dollars out of the house and kept it for yourself...You left me when I was out on maternity leave, working 12 hours a day and making no money...he said he had to pay to go to work and couldn't help pay any of the bills. I know this goes back, but the same things keep happening and he messes with me too. Like I was going to get you a dog for your birthday (he let my dog out with no leash on a busy street and he got run over by a car)

Mostly he tells me that no one likes me everyone hates me and all I care about is money while he cares about people.

I started checking his phone records because I really do think he is trying to be with some girl...He has a thing for 24 year olds...He is in his mid 40's.
I am kinda obsessed with it. I think I am just looking for that final confirmation.

I really need help with this. I am absolutely miserable.
I am just angry all the time. I wake up mad. I drive to work mad. I drive home mad. I can't even look at him.

Sorry for being so long... I am just so pissed!!

[CopperStar]

Why are you still with this guy?

[ChipperMonkey]

Uhm, I hate to say this, but I don't think that you need "final confirmation" of him being a scumbag. I think you got that many, many years ago.

Why are you putting up with all this BS?

[Namaste30]

If anyone or anything makes you unhappy you abort the situation and seek positive vibes elsewhere, where you can heal and move forward. These unfortunate situations come about when lessons are to be learned. The lesson here is find your strength, move forward and prove to yourself that you are capable of being happy. It's easy to stick around when things are convenient but your well being and happiness outweighs convenience... Move on or stay miserable.
Good luck ��

[divine1966]

Oh my. This dude got to go. Like yesterday. If your kids see this they will think that's ok.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Bill3]

You asked for help. What sort of help do you have in mind?

Look hon, you don't need no confirmation. You need to just listen to your heart and kick that ***** to the curb.

For me, my confirmation is the day that trust went flying out the window. That's all I need. That's all anybody needs. If someone is acting shady...that's good enough for me.

You just need to let it go, embrace the future without him. Kick fear in its face. By reasoning, you are a whole hell better off without him years ago. Why is he still there?

Here's hoping that you do the right thing by your children.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by metalchick

I don't know where to go with this...I am actually quite embarrassed to talk about it.

So for some time my "boyfriend" and I have been having some major issues. Mostly I am sick of him lying to me. I am fighting back and he does not like it. What started this was that he lies about paying bills, we bought a house together and he has not really paid anything in any way...This goes back 12 years so I am trying to keep it brief. Because of his actions I gave up having a life...food on the table and roof over the head for our kids...or go out all the time.

He also lies about whenever this girl is around and when they go out. He has lied about her being friends with our neighbor and really is head goes completely up his *** when she is around.

Well all of a sudden he started going to work all the time and working doubles on the weekends. This does not come from a person who is a habitual no call no show. I think that he is with that girl instead. Supposedly she does not work overtime, but when his car breaks down, there she is to pick him up. I saw them kiss too and he had her arm around her. He then got out of the car and was looking right at me. Also supposedly she is his best friend, but I did not meet her for two years until I came home early from work one day and there she was parked in my parking spot...It was obvious that he did not want us to meet...Oh yeah he also washed her car and drove it around for awhile. But what was really disturbing was that he did not wake up for work one night. He blamed me (I actually was up, but was having a massive allergy attack and really was not paying attention to the time) He usually yells at me anyway when I wake him up so I have to send my daughter to do it, but she happenend to fall asleep. He kept on yelling at me so I told him to go f**k his 24 year old girlfriend. He called me a fat sausage and we have not spoken in two weeks.
We have been going through periods of time like this...no Hi, No bye, No nothing....Honestly I think I really hate him. Too much time has passed and nothing is being resolved. He shows up 4-6 hours after a shift ends and tells me he's been working,,,for what I wonder...he never has any money, he never pays for repairs or broken things. I can't ask him anything because he tells me to do it myself...When my intention was us fixing something together.

He always has some sort of comeback...like fine you want me to pay for my part of the car insurance...I won't pay the babysitter then....WTF.

And I am like ummm, I helped you to pay all your debt, you took tens of thousands of dollars out of the house and kept it for yourself...You left me when I was out on maternity leave, working 12 hours a day and making no money...he said he had to pay to go to work and couldn't help pay any of the bills. I know this goes back, but the same things keep happening and he messes with me too. Like I was going to get you a dog for your birthday (he let my dog out with no leash on a busy street and he got run over by a car)

Mostly he tells me that no one likes me everyone hates me and all I care about is money while he cares about people.

I started checking his phone records because I really do think he is trying to be with some girl...He has a thing for 24 year olds...He is in his mid 40's.
I am kinda obsessed with it. I think I am just looking for that final confirmation.

I really need help with this. I am absolutely miserable.
I am just angry all the time. I wake up mad. I drive to work mad. I drive home mad. I can't even look at him.

Sorry for being so long... I am just so pissed!!

I'm sorry but, FINAL CONFIRMATION??? Sweetie just from what you've said in this post would've been enough for me to kick my man out to the curb! Good Lord! It seriously sounds like he's put you through enough! I hope you don't put up with too much more of his BS. You deserve better!

[IceCreamKid]

So to clarify, your boyfriend lives in the house you pay for while he is fooling around with another woman?

If you are looking for advice I would say sell the house and start a new life for yourself without him; and in your next relationship keep your finances and living arrangements separate.

[DBTDiva]

Let the 24 year old support him and pay for his bills when he doesn't want to be responsible!

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Driving her car, KISSING her, working long shifts. Do I need to state the obvious?

He's also being abusive toward you. It seems like he checked out a long time ago. You both should move on at this point.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Seroquel 300mgs
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

Driving her car, KISSING her, working long shifts. Do I need to state the obvious?

He's also being abusive toward you. It seems like he checked out a long time ago. You both should move on at this point.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Seroquel 300mgs
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

Confirmations don't get more final than this ^^^^


Unless you're waiting for him to confess that he's screwing the 24 year old? Yeah.... No. That's not happening. He'd have nobody to leech off of and use as an emotional punching bag if he admitted to that.


Have you not wasted enough time with this man? Do you really want to sacrifice another 12years?


Life's way too short to be willingly spending it in abject misery.

Freedom will feel great! Don't be afraid. He is a stone around your neck, more like a piano. Let the girlfriend have him and good luck and goodbye.