My estranged husband called me at 10pm last night to ask if he could come and see me, he has been out of the home for almost a week. I said no because I am not ready to see him yet. he has agreed to go to counseling to address his behavioral issues and I am happy for that. It is his unstable behavior that led us to where we are right now. When I told him no he threatened to hurt himself and claimed he had a gun. I called the local police to let them know what he was saying and showed them the text messages. He didn't threaten to hurt me or the children but the suicidal tendencies are frightening to me. He tells me that if he doesn't have his family then he has no reason to live. How do you deal with a situation like this? He is destroying my life, I have no life anymore. I have to look for work asap because he was the only one working outside of the home while I went to school. I am 4 classes away from graduating with my BA in psychology. It would have been our first Thanksgiving together as well as Christmas. I am angry, heartbroken and scared. I keep thinking I will lose everything because of this, my children, our home, our pets, my sanity! When you meet a person such as this it seems there is no escaping....sure I could run and get a PFA and that is just the fuel that could send the inferno over the edge....what good is a piece of paper if the person is standing at the door with a gun? What then? or maybe the parking lot of the grocery store?.....It doesn't matter where it is this person can bring death to you in a heart beat if they so choose....So do you surrender your life? give in? Hope the therapy works? or simply go crazy???? I feel like I'm going crazy and last night I didn't sleep a wink. Yet I have to be alert and take care of my children as if nothing has happened. I did nothing to deserve this except ask for my simple basic rights as a human being such as sleeping at night instead of arguing and being able to use my phone and computer when I need to. He has stripped me of my human rights and he calls that marriage. I have been kind and generous to his family often having them up on weekends for nice dinners with us.....I called his mother and told he that he needs help or he is going to hurt himself or us. WTF is wrong with the world when a single person can exercise such power and control over another person. This is why people snap! This kind of BS pressure. Part of me wants to scream out "come and get me "M*%^erF*^&ker"! and get it over with. My life is shattered, yet it doesn't have to be. I have a nice home, my car is doing ok, I'm almost finished with school, My special needs daughter is doing better than ever and we have the greatest pets in the world. My life is beautiful by all accounts yet I feel he is breaking me down. I have no enemies....I have no one who hates me, I have tried to live my life as a good person....a hard worker, a good daughter, mother and wife....this is my reward, mental abuse and fear tactics....My son said he hated my guts for putting us in this situation, he called me a loser who will never be happy, he told me to go F$%k myself and he hopped I would die. He has made fun of me for quitting school in 9th grade because I had to help my mother after my father died. My son is 16 and I have busted my butt as a single parent for most of his life to give him everything I could.....he has never wanted for anything and he has never been abused by anyone including me. I have told him that abuse is something that no one ask for or deserves and I haven't done anything to cause this, I listen to him humiliate and degrade me last night.....he blames me for everything in life that goes wrong. If I can't afford something right at the moment like a video game then he puts me down, not his biological father who has never helped with a dime. I guess it is easy to blame the only one standing there excepting the responsibility. My husband is not his biological father nor my daughters.... I only wanted happiness and love with a man that I have been crazy about since I was 13! He was the love of my life.....I know he is ill and needs treatment, I have watched my husband help my son on numerous occasions as well as my daughter, he would defend them against anything or anyone yet it is his mood swings that have caused the collapse of our life. What do you do wen you know that in the very heart of a person there is goodness yet he has demons that are causing him to hurt the person he claims to love the most...me. I believe in the power of therapy and prayer, I just don't know what to think??? My mind is corrupted and confused. I pray for peace.....I have no family to turn to, my mother suffered a brain hemorrhage and she is no longer able to live with me after many years of being together. My father who was a severe alcoholic has been dead since I was 11....I am alone, without support.

Sorry you are going through this. Just know you are not resposible for his behaviour no matter what he does. If he threatens you or your children's lives a restraining order is a must have. Its great if he's getting help but you need to protect yourself.

For future reference a long post like this is easier to read when broken into paragraphs.

[avlady]

i am sorry too about your situation. i will pray for you and remember this is not your fault

How is he able to still have a gun? Why would this not have been removed from him?

[divine1966]

What did police say to all this? File for divorce ASAP. Get restraining order. Yes get a job. I never quit working and I have two ba degrees and masters. You can do it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ChipperMonkey]

Please get away from this guy at all costs! Get a restraining order so that he can't come near you or the kids anymore.

(Why wasn't he sectioned after you called the cops and showed them his text messages? HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN!)

Out of what home for a week?

[littleowl2006]

I wish I could hold your hand or give you a hug, Ghaugh38. Please get as much help from police/neighbours/friends as possible and keep him out. Stay strong. We're here for you