[joshuas-mommy]

Well, it started when I was in high school I think.

Possible trigger:

I used to fantasize about being bound and raped.

Then, I started dating someone and I told him that I be whoever he wanted me to be and he needed to tell me what he wanted. Anyways, he broke up with me because he said he thought I wasn't as confident as he preferred. I started dating a very controlling individual in my early 20s and I would do anything he wanted me to do. I dated him for 2 years and used to cater to him. Then after we broke up, I started dating this other guy and he said it felt like he was dating himself because I would just do whatever he wanted. What type of psychological order would someone want this stuff?

[Quarter life]

This certainly sounds like a very demeaning and destructive way to live jm. Healthy relationships are usually give & take...with levels of mutual respect. This is something you may need to discuss with your doctor or therapist if it is causing you distress.

Be kind to yourself jm.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by Quarter life

This certainly sounds like a very demeaning and destructive way to live jm. Healthy relationships are usually give & take...with levels of mutual respect. This is something you may need to discuss with your doctor or therapist if it is causing you distress.

Be kind to yourself jm.

No, it is not really causing me distress.

[Quarter life]

I don't really understand what you are asking then jm. Are you simply looking for a label for what this predilection is? As you class it as a Psychological disorder? Google should be able to supply a definition for you.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by Quarter life

I don't really understand what you are asking then jm. Are you simply looking for a label for what this predilection is? As you class it as a Psychological disorder? Google should be able to supply a definition for you.

I don't know what to look up. I don't really like it anymore. I used to though.

[unaluna]

Its kinda just immaturity. Youre afraid to be yourself, youre afraid you wont be accepted for who you are? It would be nice if parents brought their kids up - both boys and girls - to be independent and able to take care of themselves, since thats how it usually ends up we have to be able to do. Eventually we get there i guess.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Its kinda just immaturity. Youre afraid to be yourself, youre afraid you wont be accepted for who you are? It would be nice if parents brought their kids up - both boys and girls - to be independent and able to take care of themselves, since thats how it usually ends up we have to be able to do. Eventually we get there i guess.

I wasn't afraid to be myself, I just thought I wanted to be dominated. I just thought about it because of this music video I watched.

[ChipperMonkey]

Lack of self confidence?

Lack of your own self? i.e. playing a chameleon who is/does whatever everyone else wants?

Do you have your own life? Do you have your own interests and hobbies and activities? Do you drop everything for these guys and just do what they want?

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

Lack of self confidence?

Lack of your own self? i.e. playing a chameleon who is/does whatever everyone else wants?

Do you have your own life? Do you have your own interests and hobbies and activities? Do you drop everything for these guys and just do what they want?

I really don't have my own life. I define myself by who I am with at the time.

BDSM perhaps? You desire having a submissive role.

[joshuas-mommy]

I sold my strings, my song, and dreams, and I buy some paints to match the colors of my love.

What is the point of your post? Are you looking for help or are you trying to suggest this is a good thing?

Your relationship history is very unhealthy. You need to talk about this with your therapist instead of looking for a new label.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by rcat

What is the point of your post? Are you looking for help or are you trying to suggest this is a good thing?

Your relationship history is very unhealthy. You need to talk about this with your therapist instead of looking for a new label.

I think she's curious as to a phase she went through. It's best discussed with a therapist, yes.

[CopperStar]

Off the top of my head, I can't think of any official labels.. but it sounds like perhaps a symptom in a sea of others, that may fall under a label.

I have strong BPD tendencies, so resonate a little bit with what you describe, or at least as far as how I was in the past before getting at least a little bit better.

People with BPD tend to have a very, very weak and confusing sense of self, and tend to turn to others in the creation of a sense of self, since they tend to lack their own inherent sense of identity.

Not sure if you might want to check out BPD and see if any of the other common symptoms resonate with you.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by CopperStar

Off the top of my head, I can't think of any official labels.. but it sounds like perhaps a symptom in a sea of others, that may fall under a label.

I have strong BPD tendencies, so resonate a little bit with what you describe, or at least as far as how I was in the past before getting at least a little bit better.

People with BPD tend to have a very, very weak and confusing sense of self, and tend to turn to others in the creation of a sense of self, since they tend to lack their own inherent sense of identity.

Not sure if you might want to check out BPD and see if any of the other common symptoms resonate with you.

I was diagnosed with BPD in the past. I thought that I had it because I had depression and suicidal tendencies. Although, the last time I was hospitalized the psychiatrist removed that label.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

I was diagnosed with BPD in the past. I thought that I had it because I had depression and suicidal tendencies. Although, the last time I was hospitalized the psychiatrist removed that label. I don't think I have that because people with that disorder are scary.

That's actually a cruel thing to say. There are a lot of people with the BPD diagnosis here, including myself. I'd think that with your challenges you might be more sensitive and compassionate towards everyone else's struggles and challenges. Maybe I was wrong in my earlier comment.

[divine1966]

You said before that you are diagnosed with schizophrenia

[amandalouise]

here in my location doing what others are doing rather than doing what you want to do is not called a mental disorder, its called things like being submissive, being compliant, non assertive, non aggressive, boredom, being in the in crowd, trying to fit in, indecisive, caving to others wishes, ....gosh there are so many different terms for it depending upon the situation.

if you are looking to make changes in this there are classes that can teach you how to be more assertive, make decisions for yourself rather than just going along with what others want to do. classes like assertiveness training, self defense training,.... your treatment provider can tell you whats available in your location that will best fit your needs.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by divine1966

You said before that you are diagnosed with schizophrenia

Plot Twist: It's Munchausen by Internet

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by CopperStar

Plot Twist: It's Munchausen by Internet

What is munchausen?

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by divine1966

You said before that you are diagnosed with schizophrenia

I am diagnosed with schizophrenia.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I don't think jm was trying to be cute. I think she's curious as to a phase she went through. It's best discussed with a therapist, yes, but that's no reason to bully her on Psych Central.

I talked to my psychiatrist and she said that it was normal.

[ChipperMonkey]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

I really don't have my own life. I define myself by who I am with at the time.

I think you should form your own identity. STAY SINGLE while finding your own interests. Join a group or club. Get involved with your community. Build your own life that doesn't revolve around a guy.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

I am diagnosed with schizophrenia.

That's what I thought you said

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