[InACorner]

Im thinking of all the mean things people have done when all i wanted to do was fit in...so now i need to get it out...

I have had people distroy school property and put my name all over it

I have had councilers call me down because people kept putting my name in the box if you worry about someone...everyone put i was a crack addict and i was pregnant ....not fun...believe me.....

i have had people distroy my works of art and photography ...right before it was due....and it was some good stuff..i put my heart into it

One time while i was in Greece the girls circled around me and made me get down on my hands and knees looking for a dirty pad that they claimed to have seen...it turned out to be a box of baby wipes (because i like to be clean...the irony)

I have had one girl find out i SI and in the middle of class screamed that my dad left me because he hated me and thats why i self injure....that one kinda hurt...and was embarressing....

i had one girl call the cops on me and say i hired a group of guys to beat and rape her...they came to my door questioned me and laughed because it was so ridiculuos (i didnt do it by the way, the girl ended up getting forced to stay downstairs and watched because she would stalk me and try to beat me up, she used to be a good friend)

Everytime i tried to speak up in class(which was very little) i was put down and told to shut up and stay in the corner...

Nobody wanted to sit with me at lunch

Ive had things taped to my back

Ive had people pretend to become my best friend....and learn things about me...then tell everyone else.....

When i changed my last name from my real fathers to my stepfathers (big mistake) everyone (even teachers) put me on the spot in class and asked why i changed my name and kept torturing me until i said something...i just ended up saying i took my step fathers last name.....

i had someone chase me around with a spider...i was and am deathly afraid of spiders....

When i was in fourth grade i didnt know what a paragraph was (ok so i was slow on the uptake ...sue me ) i could read....i just didnt know what a the paragraph word meant....so when the teacher asked me to read a paragraph...i kinda just read....until she stopped me...and then she yelled at me and said do i need to teach you what a paragraph means? i gotta lot of snickers out of that one...

one time my math teacher came out ...and apparently i didnt shut my locker right...hey...sometimes those things just dont shut at times...so i walked into class and she asked if that was my locker out there and i said yes mam...and she said come with me ....and then i went out and she made me open my locker and then she took all of my things and threw them all up and down the hallways, literally she even walked some of it down to make sure it was wide spread....i had my gym clothes for that day....and my books and my papers and my lunch... and made me wait to pick them up until the bell rung when all the kids went down the hallway....i bursted into tears heavily with tthat one....

all of these cruel things ...it must have been me...i mean not everyone can hate me....its riducilous...thats what my mom said...."Its always something with you" "You can never just get along with anyone" oh boy... i think i need to cry now...

[meander]

(((((((inny)))))))))

It's good you got all that out, you've been through a lot. People can be stupid and horrible at times.

Maybe the next list you make could be the things that have made you happiest or the nice things people have done for you?

[SongBirdandDaisy]

(((((((Inny)))))))

I'm sorry all of these bad things happened to you. I hope it did help to write all of these things down, I find that it is a helpful avenue.

You wrote that you were in Greece at one point. What was that like? I see all the pictures but have never been to Europe.

Best Wishes, Songbird

[sabby]

(((((((((((((((((((innysweety)))))))))))))))))))))))))

I hope this was a way for you to begin to let go of these painful times you have gone through. School was never a good place for me either.....kids can be so cruel (so can teachers!).

I've got some very painful memories of school too. I was not at all accepted by any one group of people in school. I was sort of on the fringe of a couple different groups, but only to be used and abused by them in some way shape or form. It was a very lonely time. A very misunderstood time. I felt like a lost puppy dog that kept getting kicked around.

But I can tell you hon, you can recover from it. I did. As I matured I made the decision that I wasn't going to allow those times to define me. I knew in my heart that I was a good person and that I could go on in my life despite their meanness and their ignorance.

Sometimes it's a matter of deciding in your mind, your heart and your soul that you are NOT going to let those times interfere with who and what you are. Finding ways of bettering yourself, putting your concentration on yourself instead of those who inflicted pain on you is one way to begin the healing process.

You are a vibrant, intelligent, hard working, loving individual. You deserve to shine through for all to see. Remind yourself of that every time you start to feel small and worthless. Remember, those are lies you are telling yourself. The truth is how good you are!

*Gentle Hugs*
Jean

[adele96]

oh god that is horrible. especially the teachers. i too have a very long list as i never fitted in at school. i remember one entire year in particualr when i didn't have one friend (and i usually only had one at a time if any) and i spent an entire year just walking the perimeter of school during lunch and keeping away from the bullies that wanted to beat me. i was desperately lonely. my entire childhood was crap and i have few good memories and NONE at school. i won't go through the list, but i feared for my life many times. and of course, who got into trouble the most?
some people are born arseholes. but the good news is that many of those bullies end up being nothing in life. usually crims. none of my bullies are particularly fearsome as adults. lol, i'd kick their butts and probably would if i ever met them again.

(((((((((((((((inny))))))))))))))))0

so sorry you went through all that crap you didn't deserve it. you are the most caring, intelligent and talented people i have ever spoken to and what goes around comes around. all the awful people will get their comuppance at some stage in their lives. you are a strong and compassionate human being, have been wronged, but learned from everyone elses wrong doings. i love you, we love you.period. i'm honoured to have met so many people in here and you are one of them. be proud of yourself.

love you, kerry xoxoxoxoxo

[Direction]

I too am glad you were able to write this all down...I felt part of your pain...I'm so sorry you had to go through all this.

[InACorner]

((((((((((((Everyone)))))))))))))

i appreciate your kindness so much......you know...to know that i have friends on here makes up for it and than some!!!

[okiedokie]

Hi Inny,
I'm also sorry that you had to endure such crap. Please know that I think you're great and always look forward to hearing how you're doing.
Take care,
Okie

[selfy]

(((((((((((((((((((((inny)))))))))))))))))))))))))
people can be arseholes,,, it isnt fair really
sending u my luv coz i luv u
self

[Wants2Fly]

I'm sorry that so many mean things happened to you, and I hope getting it out helped. I agree with it may be time to make a list of the happiest moments.

I think a lot of people don't fit in during our school years. The film director John Waters once told me that he thought there was something [i]wrong{/i] with people who peak in high school -- you know, the football jock who never gets over his fame and is still talking about it when he's 50, the captain of the cheerleading squad who still dresses like a teenager when she's a grandmother and hasn't gotten over herself.

You will create your wholeness and inner harmony, Inny. I know it, and I hope you do, too.