[Khione]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now. He's great, I'll start by saying that. I love him and I will always love him because he's an amazing guy - he's caring and protective.

The problem has been lately, things have been going downhill. I'm just going to say how things have been going, from my own perspective. I'm not saying he is a jerk or that this is exactly how it is, that's why I want your opinions.. so I can put things right in my head because it's all stressing me out and I don't know if my feelings are justified or not.

Recently, in the past few months, I've barely seen him. Now he blames that on my new puppy, who yes, takes up a lot of my time. But my mum has offered on more than one occasion to look after the puppy (I live with my mum) and when he does come round, she usually gets all excited and then sleeps for a few hours. That's the thing as well, he only ever comes to my house. There is no invitation to his anymore, no invitation to go out and he denies any invitations I offer to go out anywhere.

Whenever he does come to mine, he's usually sick.. or not feeling too good.

Lately, the past 3 or 4 times he's come round, we've argued or he's felt ill and either way, he's gone home before 8pm (baring in mind he gets to mine at 5pm).

To put it in perspective, he used to come to mine every day he was off college (which was at least twice during the week, Friday's he would stay over at my house and he'd actually be pretty sad and annoyed if he missed a day).

But lately, I barely see him once a week. And when I do see him, like I said, he goes home after an hour or two.

He's become uninterested in anything I really talk about, he will talk for hours on end about his interests and I'll happily sit and listen. But when it comes to talking about mine, even if I just want to sit and talk to a brick wall, it's not enjoyable. He sits there looking bored or, if his phone goes off, he'll talk to one of his friends..

Just tonight, he got a message from his friend, in the middle of when I was trying to talk to him about my education (which has been none existent recently and it's a big thing for me that I'm turning it around), he sat and replied to his friend.. then he apologised so I said it's fine and carried on, then his friend sent him a video and he actually watched it and played the sound out loud. Not even pretending to be interested this time. So I just stopped talking about myself and he went home shortly after that.

Not to mention that he's started not to take my mental health as serious as before. During our relationship, I've ended up in hospital twice due to suicide attempts, both I regret massively and I know they've affected him a lot. I understand that. I've given him time and space and he's told me he's 'over' it. (As in, he's dealt with the feelings behind it). But he's started to mock some of my mental health stuff. Some of my OCD things, he finds funny. It's getting upsetting now. At first it was funny too, but not anymore. And I've told him, he's said sorry, but he'll do it again. Because that's what he does. He say's sorry, or he say's he'll try change or try harder but he doesn't.

I've tried talking to him seriously about us as a couple, saying that I didn't feel we were how we used to. I get that things change but this is almost hurtful for me and I really don't like it anymore.

He has been going through a tough time with college and University applications and his family haven't been going easy on him. He hasn't been eating well or sleeping well and he said he's been feeling depressed and because I've been there and done it, I told him he should go to the doctors and just see what he had to say. He promised he would, few weeks went by and he didn't. I asked him again and he snapped at me to leave it alone. So I have.

He may be depressed, which is fair enough. But even when I was going through the worst part of my life, I did my very hardest to not take it out on him. And it's starting to get to me now, how he's been over the last few months.

Am I overreacting? Should I be giving him more leeway with him possibly being depressed?

I do love him, I love him a lot and he says he loves me too. Sorry this is so long, I haven't actually been able to talk to anyone about it.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

It sounds to me like the honeymoon phase is over. You speak of college so I take it you two are quite young. You say he's a nice guy so maybe being just friends might work better? If that's not an option just ask him "what's up?" It sounds like he is stressed about some things. Maybe he just needs a little breathing room and a good night sleep. Communication is key so just sit down and ask him if any things wrong. Couldn't hurt!

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Risperdal 4mg
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

[Khione]

Thanks RxQueen, we're both 18 almost 19. We are really close, we talk about everything and we're pretty mature for a young couple. We both talk of moving in together when he leaves for University, it just feels like right now, he doesn't want anything to do with me..

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Ask him if he needs a break. You might not like the answer but you know what they say about letting go someone you love. You're both very young. In a few years, you'll be completely different people and you might just find that you have a new partner as well. I remember my bf I had at your age. I was assured that we would be married with 5 kids. Now I can still say he's a good guy but we both grew out of the relationship

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Risperdal 4mg
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

[divine1966]

It honestly seems that he is quite uninterested in spending time with you. It might be time to move on unless he had a good explanation

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