[lunatic soul]

I got together with my ex, we were together 3 years ago and decided to end it because it was more like friendship not romantic.
Now we are together since July and at first everything was okay.
Now its getting worse and worse because he feels sad and disappointed for almost everything I do, for example if we go to party he blames me for talking to my friends while he sits and is silent, I always try to get him in conversations but sometimes I want to spend my time and hang out without thinking how to make him feel good. I feel like I am responsible for him.
Last party he stood alone and I said- come join us but he didn't so I went without him and he continued standing alone, after that party he says I avoided from him which is not true, there were my friends and my attitude was split, it seems he wants me to sit alone with him in a corner while we on party. I said I don;t ask him to go to parties if he doesn't like it.
He almost everyday texts me how bad I make him feel saying maybe I want to leave him etc. Im so f***** tired of hearing it, he is okay if we are together but if there are at least one more person he starts that sh** that I ignore him.
I said to him that if he wants to talk to me, he could talk and not to wait when I start to talk to him, if wants to go outside to talk together with me, he can do it not to wait when I will, if he wants to be near me he can come next to me not to wait when I will come.
Im so exhausted of it. Im so exhausted of justifying my actions and explaining why, he is such an emo in his soul, Im not saying he is bad but he kills all my energy, I feel like he is a little baby who is not able to do anything by his own and who needs my help all the time.
He all the time looks at me with his sad eyes like I did something bad to him.
He was really low self-awareness and he too often says that if I dont like him I can leave him etc.
I would like that we had normal relationships but Im worried its not possible. He makes me feel bad by texting me how bad I make him feel because I sometimes spend my time with my friends etc.
He said he would leave me if I smoked because it disgusts him, he said it when I smoked with my friend because I felt really horrible and wanted to talk to her outside with no other people. I think that saying things like that is not normal, I respect him and Im not doing things that he doesnt like me to do but it hurts me when he says that its so disgusting that I smoked and he would leave me if I did it ussually, i would leave person I love because of it.

Sorry for so long post, I just dont know what to do, maybe I am the one who is guilty and bad but he makes me feel bad and exhausted, i told him this, I always say what I think, I never wanted to hurt him or make him feel bad.
I dont know if there can be anything good, it destroys my mood, I woke up happy and then I texted him asking about our next date and he started to blame me again and now I feel so horrible, so anxious, so confused.
Im attached to him but now Im having bad time because of recovering drug abuse (opiates) and having health issues too, Im almost numb at my feelings, I am so exhausted, so out of energy, so desperate and my boyfriend makes me feel worse by always being disappointed of everything I do. He makes me feel like I can breath. I dont want to leave him because he means something to me but he destroys me somehow.

[ChipperMonkey]

I think you know what you need to do.

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I think you know what you need to do.

I agree. Look after yourself.

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[MistressStayc]

yeah he seems extraordinarily needy. unless you are prepared to enable him I think it is time to call it quits.

[CopperStar]

Is it guilt tripping? | Examiner.com

[lunatic soul]

After few hours I logged in facebook and read his texts and at the end he said sorry again and that he loves me and wants to be with me etc. I forgive as always because its too hard to leave him but it seems that it will never be the same. When he asks me to see him I feel like I would rather see my friend because we feel good together but he makes me feel depressed and so tired...

He needs therapy. He needs to work on his self-esteem and independence. Whether you break up or not.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

He needs therapy. He needs to work on his self-esteem and independence. Whether you break up or not.

I also told him and suggested to see my new psychiatrist who is also a therapist and I think he is good therapist but I saw him only once but my bf refused it saying it wont help him. I said that if he doesnt do anything it wont get better and I cant help him, he seems even delusional sometimes, no matter how much I say good things it doesnt make anything better.

[ChipperMonkey]

You can't fix him. The drive to change must come 100% from within himself. Sometimes we're left with no choice but to let go or else we go down with the ship, too.

He is extremely needy.

He has made it pretty clear his expectations in the relationship, but have you done the same?

I wish to draw attention to the lack of socializing when you go out. I think you should continue to do so. I am not suggesting you babysit him but I would ensure that he is introduced to every single person present before going on to do your own socializing. My boyfriend and I had a prearranged 'signal' where I could indicate it was all getting a bit much.

Do you two socialize with any aquaintances of his? What if you were to invite people over on ocassion so that he might feel the safety of being in his own place?

I don't think there is anything else you can do. Youve pretty well exhauseted it all - and yourself. Go ahead and maybe try the above - you may already have. It may very well be that this relationship needs to come to an end.

When it comes down to it, you must look after yourself.