[Passivehill]

Hello! I got a crush on the first girl I ever laid close to.

Background: I came into dating very late. I had a big self-esteem issue, was a virgin and had never kissed a girl. A realization happened in April this year that cured me from my negative self-image. During the summer I started going out more, met a lot of girls and went on dates. One girl I started liking was the first one I ever cuddled with. I was too scared to kiss her though. I got to know her well and slept over at her place several nights, while nothing more than cuddling ever happened, not even a kiss. I lost my virginity to another person during the summer, but was still interested in the one mentioned before. At the end of the summer I traveled abroad and continued dating women so that I now feel experienced and calm about intimacy, which I used to worry about. Before I left however, I did as my heart told me and asked if she wanted to be more than friends. She broke my heart by saying that she did not want a distance relationship and we agreed to try and build on our friendship when I returned.

After being away for a while, I met another girl who I started a relationship with. I was forced to write to the girl back home that I was now occupied, to which she replied that she did not mind. We continued chatting, but I still haven’t told her that I ended that relationship quickly.

She has become the person that I sometimes feel the closest to. Whereas I used to care about my guy friends, I do not care about chatting with my old friends as much when I’m away compared to with her. The best thing is that I know exactly how to make her laugh and we have a good connection.

Recently she asked me when I will return and said that she was free on that time. Other positive signs are that she answers me quick and it seems that she wants the conversation to go on, which it usually does for a long time. Our style of communicating is reminiscent of friends talking but with a high tempo, cheering and long messages. Even though we are away from each other, the conversation still goes on in the same style as when I first met her.

I’m not sure if she is interested, just being nice, if I should pursue this girl or how to tell her that I like her? As I’m returning soon, it would be good to hear if you think it is more appropriate to wait until I get back or to tell her asap?

[Permacultural]

If you're not already talking on the phone regularly with her, maybe try that and see how it feels. From the way you describe things, the relationship has been mainly by text or email.

[Bill3]

My two cents: tell her now when you expect to return. When you tell her, ask her for a date on a specific day shortly after you return. Don't tell her that you like her right away, just see how things go. If things go well, you will have plenty of chances to tell her how you feel.

[Passivehill]

Thanks for the replies. I asked her out very simply and she said she'd love to meet and we agreed upon seeing eachother next time we're both in the city.

First I thought this thread would be about getting over that one girl. But it turned out I was not imagining since we now have a date.