[seeking]

How exactly does a father feel about his son (say 17 years of age) bringing home a girlfriend (approx. 16/17) and having sex with her under his roof with him being home or not. Women usually have a very different view on this. If my daughter ever did have sex at that age in my house, then I was not aware of it or just plain stupid. What is a man's perspective on these issues? Some families do not allow boys into their daughters' rooms but girls are allowed into the boys' room. I don't understand the difference. To me it is my child and a certain set of rules apply, whether it be a son or a daughter.

[JessF]

"Some families do not allow boys into their daughters' rooms but girls are allowed into the boys' room. I don't understand the difference."

I’d like to share my opinion on this particular statement. IMHO I think most fathers remember what went through their minds when they were teenagers. If this is the case, then a girls’ father considers every boy a pervert until proven otherwise. And maybe the parents of a teenage boy think their son isn’t a pervert (well he is, and darn good at hiding it).

I don’t think simply educating one’s teen about the mechanical aspects of sex is enough. We’re taught that in school: penis in vagina and watch out for babies. Rarely have I heard a statement that urges parents to discuss the mental and emotional aspects of sexual intimacy. Are these variables simply overlooked because the emotions coupled with sex cannot be put into words? Try describing love to a teenage son or daughter, and don’t just send them a “love” poem from Hallmark. Maybe just discussing the mechanics of sex seems like an adequate way out of an already awkward situation discussion.

I don’t know. I’ve never had either discussing with my parents, nor do I ever expect to. I applaud those parents that have tried. But it is ultimately up to their kid in what course of action they take. I think it’s important that a teen has self-respect and integrity or no amount of “discussion” will stop an egocentric teen from doing what they want.

Everyone must learn what love means to them, and that comes from life experience. Then, and only then, will they begin to understand the intricacies of sexual intimacy.

[krzyk101]

Hello, I have heard many diffrent views on the subject, and as having no children just want to make a comment to all sides.

I feel that if your child is sexualy active, and you are aware of it or not. The most improtant thing for a teenager to know, both boys and girls is about sexually transmitted diseases. And how to prevent them. Condoms at any age if sexually active can be one piece of latex between a long and healthy life and the results of HIV/AIDS or any other irreversable sexually transmitted disease.

HIV is spreading more rapid in the Teenage/Young adult years group of people. An AIDS is not a homosexual only disease anymore and may young teens worry more about becoming pregnant or getting someone pregnant than that of contracting HIV the virus which causes AIDS.

Regardless of the parents allowing or not allowing sex in the home Teenagers need to be aware of the risks of unprotected sex. I if I had a teenager would not want my son or daughter to be out lived by me, when the prevention could have been so simple and they were out having sex unaware of condoms or the risks of STD's

Thanks for listening

Take Care,
Kris

I wish you the best, and the hope for a better day for us all, in out struggles no matter how large or small I wish hope for us all

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

[rubyred]

You stated:
"I don't profess to be a saint, on the contrary this is a damned difficult situation. Here is a 17 year old who is pulling all his old tricks. Within the 1st 3 months of living with us he brought drugs into our house (which in the country we are living in, carries the death penalty.) "

If this is true, then you've got a much bigger problem than worrying about sex. You need to get this kid out of the country.

Choices, it's all about choices.