[hoping76]

Neither my father nor my recently deceased mother believe in psychology. It doesn't exist. Just excuses. When I tried to talk to them about my depression 20 some years ago I got an ok sure. Just get over it. Following the illness of my mother, basically my panic and anxiety went through the roof. I have been off work since late September. I can't even go to a store without having a panic attack.

My dad today asked so what you planning on doing just quitting your job? I said no. I need to get my moods stabilized and see if I can heal enough to go to a store without a panic attack hitting. Well I am 78 and I ain't never had no panic attack. (He did however start bawling in a store at least twice now).

How in the blazes can I even attempt to explain it to him? Gee dad, right now I am too messed up in the head to work? All those years of depression, anxiety and panic attacks finally disabled me? Argh! Just don't know what to do.....

[avlady]

a lot of older people don't believe in psychiatry, for different reasons like religion for one. just suck it up and take it they say. some people have killed themselves because they could not for their pride ask for help too. i hope you can find a doc and t.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by hoping76

Neither my father nor my recently deceased mother believe in psychology. It doesn't exist. Just excuses. When I tried to talk to them about my depression 20 some years ago I got an ok sure. Just get over it. Following the illness of my mother, basically my panic and anxiety went through the roof. I have been off work since late September. I can't even go to a store without having a panic attack.

My dad today asked so what you planning on doing just quitting your job? I said no. I need to get my moods stabilized and see if I can heal enough to go to a store without a panic attack hitting. Well I am 78 and I ain't never had no panic attack. (He did however start bawling in a store at least twice now).

How in the blazes can I even attempt to explain it to him? Gee dad, right now I am too messed up in the head to work? All those years of depression, anxiety and panic attacks finally disabled me? Argh! Just don't know what to do.....

The comparison I always use is cancer. Cancer is an illness. Depression and anxiety are illnesses. One is a physical illness, one is a mental illness, but both are illnesses. You can choose to "not believe" in cancer, but that doesn't make it any less real. Because of years and years of research we know that many mental illnesses PHYSICALLY change the shape of the brain. Trauma does, Schizophrenia does. It's not a believe/disbelieve type of thing. I can choose not to believe in cars but that doesn't mean one won't hit me if I walk in front of it, you know?

Your father is 78 and he has also never experienced menstruation or carrying a baby either, does that make those things not real? I'm sure none of this will make any difference to your parents, because often no anti-stigma argument gets through to people because they're invested in not believing reality for whatever reason. However I think it's really important that we, as individuals with mental illness really understand and believe this because it's impossible not to internalize some of that stigma. Mental illness is just a real as cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. I'm sorry your parents are not supportive of you.

[IceCreamKid]

Are you under a doctor's care for your panic attacks? Do you see a therapist? I think that is where to start.

You're old enough not to need your father's permission to start taking care of yourself, including your mental health. It doesn't matter whether he "believes in" psychology. I encourage you to reach out for the professional help you need.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Sounds just like my father. He thinks that I'm lazy and just pop meds all day when really I get panic attacks just thinking of going back to work. I tell him I need a ride to the pdoc and he says "when are you going to stop this crap and grow up". One thing I can tell you about our old school dads is that they aren't going to change. No matter what we do or say or feel, they're stuck in their ways. When my dad starts with me I change the subject. If it's over the phone I say goodbye. I know how bad it hurts trust me. My pdoc told me I need to get on SSDI but my dad said "no daughter of mine will be on that! Handicap my ***!' It hurts when you're own family treats you like this.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Risperdal 4mg
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

[ChipperMonkey]

I think you may just need to accept that he won't ever understand, and may never accept your struggles.

My grandfather.....narcissistic and h-e-l-l....yeah, I'd say he was indeed to the point of having NPD (it was pretty bad), and had terrible social anxiety (retired at age 55 b/c he couldn't deal). Anyway, he never believed in anything psychiatric...I left college at age 19 b/c of my struggles (anxiety, etc) and his only words for me were "I hope you got that out of your system". Uhm, yeah...out of my system! (I have PTSD.) There was no explaining anything to him. I just had to accept it....and move on.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I think you may just need to accept that he won't ever understand, and may never accept your struggles.

My grandfather.....narcissistic and h-e-l-l....yeah, I'd say he was indeed to the point of having NPD (it was pretty bad), and had terrible social anxiety (retired at age 55 b/c he couldn't deal). Anyway, he never believed in anything psychiatric...I left college at age 19 b/c of my struggles (anxiety, etc) and his only words for me were "I hope you got that out of your system". Uhm, yeah...out of my system! (I have PTSD.) There was no explaining anything to him. I just had to accept it....and move on.

Yeah, people with NPD have good reason to "not believe" in psychiatry! They want to stay as they are and not be called on their s*** and it's not hard for a good therapist or psychiatrist to pick up on axis II traits pretty quickly.