[lunatic soul]

Im 23 years old woman and Im living with my parents and sister. I have a choice to get my own apartment and live there alone.
It seems cool to have my own place but Im scared of loneliness, I would live there alone.. okay I could invite my friends but I would be alone.
What do you think about it? Are you living with someone else or alone abd how do you feel about it?

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I've been out of the house for ten years but I've always had someone live with me. There were small stretches of a few months inbetween. My animals help a lot with the loneliness. For the most part, I prefer being left alone really.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
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[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

I've been out of the house for ten years but I've always had someone live with me. There were small stretches of a few months inbetween. My animals help a lot with the loneliness. For the most part, I prefer being left alone really.

Yeah, animals is good idea but I dont know because my sister's cat really annoys me sometimes, especially when Im trying to fall asleep.

[specialneedsmom]

I lived in apartment alone for quite a few years. I wasn't lonely in the daytime, but at night I would get kind of scared. I eventually found an apartment complex with a security guard & gate. I would say that, as a young woman, there is something to consider safety wise.

[nonightowl]

I've lived alone for years in an apartment. The building is semi-secure, with a buzzer entry system, some cameras, and good lighting.

For me, I like how I can do what I want. Window open or closed, fan on or not, etc. Music on or off, type I like, watch what I want......

But it can get lonely, and I don't like how there's nobody waiting for me to come home or to worry if I'm not home yet or late. Also, nobody to hold down the fort if I have to be away for awhile, or it I get sick, etc.

I guess there's more cons to it, but that's just me.

Security is something to think about, but I've found that nothing is completely safe.

It would be comforting to be acquainted with at least one neighbor, esp.one that lives next door to you. (If they are nice, LOL) It can be less scary that way, that you can kind of look out for each other.

I HAVE gotten creeped out at night, esp.when I hear footsteps and keep thinking they are approaching MY unit. I hear people walking all the time.

I never answer my door to anyone I don't recognize/expect, and don't even answer the buzzer unless expecting a visitor/package. In spite of the so-called security, I'm still vigilant. I won't let anyone in I don't recognize either. It's a large building with a high turnover, so not much of a sense of community.

If you do this, all I can recommend is a smaller complex: 10 units or less. Big enough for some privacy, but not so large you don't know if someone lives in the building or not.

[specialneedsmom]

In my city, it is law that the landlord must put a deadbolt lock on the front door of your apartment. Make sure you have one, especially if you live on the first floor.

[lunatic soul]

If we talk about security, that apartment is owned by my father and I lived there when I was a child, I cant say its very secure. I think I would be scared at night because sometimes I was even when there were my family but it doesnt scare me that much as loneliness.

[divine1966]

I live alone. Well my BF is with me quite often but prior to that I lived totally alone and not dating . I loved it. My daughter lived alone a lot prior to meeting her now husband. It's important to stay safe but I was never scared or lonely.

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[Nammu]

I love living alone. People exhaust me, I need my alone time to deal with the bipolar. I had two older sisters growing up but the we both out of the house by the time I was in first grade so it was mostly just me. All my life I've had my own room. We lived in the country so friends were a distance, I learned to be happy alone, so that probably has a lot to do with loving living alone. I hav a cat though. Pets aren't people and I could live ve with a lot more than just one.

Have you thought about a dog or a cat? Everyone I know who has pets talks to them so that's not weird and it helps loneliness.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by sidestepper

I love living alone. People exhaust me, I need my alone time to deal with the bipolar. I had two older sisters growing up but the we both out of the house by the time I was in first grade so it was mostly just me. All my life I've had my own room. We lived in the country so friends were a distance, I learned to be happy alone, so that probably has a lot to do with loving living alone. I hav a cat though. Pets aren't people and I could live ve with a lot more than just one.

Have you thought about a dog or a cat? Everyone I know who has pets talks to them so that's not weird and it helps loneliness.

Im scared of dogs Okay if I had my dog I think i woudnt be scared but I should walk with my dog every morning and every evening and it would be hard for me.
My sister has cat, firstly I was annoyed by her cat, now its okay, maybe I would have a cat but Im sure it wont replace people.
I know I cant live my whole life with my family but I feel like Im leaving my sister and my mother because I have good relationship with them.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I lived on my own from age 18 until 49. It was fine. You can find yourself. Also you can have cold curry for breakfast and do the washing up once a month. OK I became rather eccentric.

Then I married and now I have to sneak into the garden to eat last night's curry leftovers after fishing them out of the bin. On the other hand I can now afford a dishwasher.

Well isolation IS an issue; especially for depression. But, my independence is for more important to me. I can't imagine living with someone that I was not in a relationship with.

It's taken me almost 3 years to realize living on my own is ok. I was living with my ex h for almost 20 years, and didn't realize it was so difficult to do. All I knew was I was waiting for him to come home and feeling lonely. What I didn't realize, is that I didn't know HOW to be alone. It was a constant wait for him to give me some company because I didn't like my own company. Now I can't imagine sharing my home with anyone else, even if I fell in love. I like my privacy, I can walk around in my pj's and leave the dishes for a few days and no one is going to judge me. I don't have to pick up the ex's laundry all over the floor. It's my mess now, not someone else's. I can buy what I want and not have someone (well, other than my son who raids the fridge and cupboards like I hear him doing right now) eat my favourite foods or want to watch something I hate to watch. There are a lot of plus sides to living on your own. Sometimes I can't wait til my teenager is on his own.

[lunatic soul]

Maybe I love my mother and sister too much to leave them. I know I cant live forever with them but I feel like Im leaving them and becoming alone.
Maybe I lived with my boyfriend but I dont want to move to his town and he doesnt want to move to my town and we have relationship issues, I even avoid from him.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Hi, LS.

I'm 29 years old. I was living with my parents until about a year ago when I went into supported housing for those with mental health difficulties looking to live a more independent life which ultimately can (and usually does) lead to a place of my own. I'm now waiting for the place of my own.

I would say yes, do it. You'll be on your own here and there, but you'll have peace and quiet, and you'll be walking on your own [insert number] feet.

[*Laurie*]

Living alone or not is such a personal decision. For me, I am living alone (since last spring) for the first time in my life (I'm 52). I do share my apartment with my pets, but no humans. So far, I am having a really difficult time living by myself. I work from home, too, so I'm really isolated. It's driving me crazy. If my place just had an extra room I would definitely get a room-mate.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

Living alone or not is such a personal decision. For me, I am living alone (since last spring) for the first time in my life (I'm 52). I do share my apartment with my pets, but no humans. So far, I am having a really difficult time living by myself. I work from home, too, so I'm really isolated. It's driving me crazy. If my place just had an extra room I would definitely get a room-mate.

This is a good point. Living alone is not for everyone. I don't know if I'd be alone if I had someone to live with, and it would have to be someone truly compatible: Another neat freak who likes QUIET and order.

Pets can make better companions than humans though.

For extra security, I put cut-off broom handles in the tracks of my windows and sliding door, so it can't be opened easily from the outside. The locks on them is not reassuring enough for me.

I also have one of these things you prop under the doorknob. It also makes it hard to force it from the outside. It's adjustable in height and made of steel. I don't know what it's called, but I'm glad to have it.

On that note, I've never had any trouble with someone trying to get in, or someone who got in while I was out.

Years ago, I had someone come to my door at 3am and POUND on it! I was terrified. I didn't even get out of bed to look out the peephole. I just waited for them to go away, thinking no one is home. Prior to the pounding, I heard my buzzer ring, so someone was trying to get in and wanted me to buzz them into the building. Damn thing woke me up.

Seconds later, they got in, or maybe it was someone who lived in the building anyway. (And the buzz was a heads up) Anyway, it was scary. They had the wrong building (next one looks identical, same owner), wrong unit, whatever.

Thank goodness they went away.

In hindsight, it might have been someone in the building I knew and needed help, but I didn't know many neighbors. And it was 3am! No one said anything to me the next day, like "That was me that pounded on your door. Sorry! I was panicked cause...."

If if was something life threatening, hopefully they just called 911 and not banged on someone else's door. If it was someone I didn't recognize (if I looked), I definitely wouldn't answer it. If it was, I don't know......How do they know I've even there?

I had to get up at 5am back then, and I had trouble going back to sleep after that. So I was none too pleased.

....... It's not for everyone but sometimes it's the best option.

After what I grew up in, all I can say is
that there is nothing any sweeter than
walking in that door at the end of the day
and having nothing but peace and quiet
waiting on the other side!

[avlady]

you may enjoy being on your own, getting the chance to do things the way you like and not having to worry if you're bothering anyone or you being bothered by anyone else. it feels good to feel so free. loneliness could be a problem but maybe you could volunteer somewhere or a job.good luck

Originally Posted by lunatic soul

Im 23 years old woman and Im living with my parents and sister. I have a choice to get my own apartment and live there alone.
It seems cool to have my own place but Im scared of loneliness, I would live there alone.. okay I could invite my friends but I would be alone.
What do you think about it? Are you living with someone else or alone abd how do you feel about it?

I am female and moved out 15 years ago, lived with roommates in various houses for a while before finding that I prefered my own space. I've lived on my own for about 9 years. Well, I have two kitties. I'm considering buying a house in the next few years. I was lonely the first few years, but I think that was mainly because I was getting over a broken engagement. But now I absolutely love living alone!

[MiddayNap]

I can imagine it might be frightening to live on one's own for the very first time, however, your living alone does not mean that you will be alone. It isn't as though you are leaving the planet-you can still visit with family and friends, so fret not.
You will be able to decorate however you like and keep everything organized and clean-or an absolute mess, whatever you wish. I won't be able to afford my own apartment for two years (at the longest), but I've already planned out the sort of furniture and tableware I wish to use. Basically, my home will look like a sort of haunted dollhouse. ^_^
Once you get past the initial anxiety, it is quite fun.

I do hope you will be careful as a woman living alone, not to leave on a negative note.

[Permacultural]

Originally Posted by lunatic soul

Im 23 years old woman and Im living with my parents and sister. I have a choice to get my own apartment and live there alone.
It seems cool to have my own place but Im scared of loneliness, I would live there alone.. okay I could invite my friends but I would be alone.
What do you think about it? Are you living with someone else or alone abd how do you feel about it?

I was so scared and intimidated by the process. But it was the best thing for me. I learned how to be my own best friend.

[AncientMelody]

I shared a two bedroom apartment with a roomate my sophomore year of college, but essentially lived there alone in all but name. She went home every weekend and we had opposite class schedules.

Honestly I really enjoyed living alone. Plenty of stimulation for me on college campus during the day, and by the time the evening came I was more than ready to disengage from all of that. Solitude can be hard to come by and I think it can be valuable.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by Pfrog

After what I grew up in, all I can say is
that there is nothing any sweeter than
walking in that door at the end of the day
and having nothing but peace and quiet
waiting on the other side!

As long as you don't have NOISY neighbors.

These apartment complexes have such THIN, flimsy walls. So it's only as good as the neighbors you have. It can make a big difference in the quality of life. I mean there's always a$$holes who won't respond to management or even the police.

And there's the privacy issue as well--with walls as thin as the ones where I live, I can hear what people are saying if they talk loud enough, even with the windows closed.

And the building next to me is so close, the space between the two is about the size of the average driveway. Plus, the apartments are DIRECTLY across from each other, so you can see right into someone's place. (But keeping the blinds closed is depressing to me, so I do have to open them slightly)

Opening the windows can bring in cigarette smoke, unwanted music, cooking odors etc. It all depends....