[ducky2030]

Im sure others have posted similar but Ive been thinking about this lately. Ive had many boyfriends but only one serious relationship that was horrible and only only lasted about a year! Im am 28 YEARS OLD! and Im attractive and I have a great personality...I think maybe Im a bit selfish (Ive been told)or maybe I move around too much Ive moved a lot in the past 3 or 4 years. It just seems that I am not able to find someone I have a deep connection with. there aren't even many guys that I can say I have genuinely liked! Its usually more... "oh this persons cool! ". I know my illness sometimes makes me a recluse. Or maybe Im just too picky and looking for too much in one person. Im not sure but Im getting older and I still haven't found anyone ...anyone feel the same?

[CopperStar]

Maybe your expectations regarding relationships are too high and idealistic.

While I think that in very rare cases, some tiny minority of people are very lucky to just so happen find themselves in wonderful relationships with a soulmate, I think that in general relationships are not all they're cracked up to be.

I get the impression that for a lot of people it's like a "grass is greener" phenomenon, where if they perceive that they can't get a relationship, then surely relationships must be the best thing on earth.

But in reality all that seems to distinguish a romantic relationship from a close friendship is the sexual aspect. Romantic relationships are like friends who have sex and promise not to have cheat on each other. Or something. It's like a means to have sex with much less risk of getting diseases or otherwise getting hurt, if you commit to just one partner.

But remove the element of sex, and you're just two humans interacting with each other, with all of the typical potential issues, problems and annoyances. And you can wind up making a lot of compromise and sacrifices just for that element of sex as opposed to friendships. Is it really worth it?

I personally don't think so, but don't judge people who do. Still, if some amazing, wonderful relationship were to happen to fall into my lap, that would be cool, in the same way winning the lottery would be cool. But I'm certainly not about to feel depressed that I haven't won the lottery and am single.

To me it sounds like your experiences have been fairly standard.. fleeting attempts at dating that didn't lead anywhere. Sounds pretty normal.

[specialneedsmom]

Moving around a lot makes it difficult to establish relationships with people that are solid, in my opinion.

I'm just saying this because I live in an area where there are lots of people who move in and out constantly, and the more "nomadic" people don't seem to have any long term friends, or they stay single much longer.

Many people never do find a soulmate, partner or spouse. This is the reality of today's world we live in. Some people will wind up alone. Some will be miserable this way, others will embrace it; and I think a third category will feel somewhere in between.

I agree with what someone above said, you never know if those couples are happy or not. They may seem that way one day, and the next day you find out they are splitting up, or there is abuse going on, or something else.

[bebogirl16]

I will also say that relationships are not what they seem to be.
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and while I don't know where I would be without him, I also have noticed how dependent on him I have become. I hate it. It's something I never wanted to be.
It's also hard to be in a relationship when you are struggling with anxiety and so on because its often impossible for the other person to understand what your going through unless they too struggle with it.

People come along when you least expect it. I would try not to worry about it too much and since you move a lot, maybe just try to get out there more and meet new people. It's easier said than done, I know.

I hope the best for you

[divine1966]

I know many people in good relationships so I don't think it's that rare. Don't lose hope

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[avlady]

there are alot of good relationships out there so don't get discouraged if you havn't found your person yet. maybe its for the better as you've had the time to experiment, and you should make a list of what you want in a person and then you'll know what to look for.good luck

[green0cake]

Maybe you're right. You're just too picky. No one is perfect in this world. Those high standard sometimes can frustrate you if no one met it.

Seems you're anxious about people around you asking how's your relationship side? Well, don't be pressured about that. Just be yourself and the right guy will come.

[ducky2030]

You're spot on... my expectations are high for others and myself and Im definitely an idealist!

Ive never heard anyone describe relationships that way...I def identify with that!

Thanks for your input!

Originally Posted by CopperStar

Maybe your expectations regarding relationships are too high and idealistic.

While I think that in very rare cases, some tiny minority of people are very lucky to just so happen find themselves in wonderful relationships with a soulmate, I think that in general relationships are not all they're cracked up to be.

I get the impression that for a lot of people it's like a "grass is greener" phenomenon, where if they perceive that they can't get a relationship, then surely relationships must be the best thing on earth.

But in reality all that seems to distinguish a romantic relationship from a close friendship is the sexual aspect. Romantic relationships are like friends who have sex and promise not to have cheat on each other. Or something. It's like a means to have sex with much less risk of getting diseases or otherwise getting hurt, if you commit to just one partner.

But remove the element of sex, and you're just two humans interacting with each other, with all of the typical potential issues, problems and annoyances. And you can wind up making a lot of compromise and sacrifices just for that element of sex as opposed to friendships. Is it really worth it?

I personally don't think so, but don't judge people who do. Still, if some amazing, wonderful relationship were to happen to fall into my lap, that would be cool, in the same way winning the lottery would be cool. But I'm certainly not about to feel depressed that I haven't won the lottery and am single.

To me it sounds like your experiences have been fairly standard.. fleeting attempts at dating that didn't lead anywhere. Sounds pretty normal.

[ducky2030]

Yes it is hard for people to understand and honestly the men in my life that I have connected with the most have mental illness so we really are compatible, theres a deeper bond, the only down side is when your symptoms clash it cause conflict

Originally Posted by bebogirl16

I will also say that relationships are not what they seem to be.
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and while I don't know where I would be without him, I also have noticed how dependent on him I have become. I hate it. It's something I never wanted to be.
It's also hard to be in a relationship when you are struggling with anxiety and so on because its often impossible for the other person to understand what your going through unless they too struggle with it.

People come along when you least expect it. I would try not to worry about it too much and since you move a lot, maybe just try to get out there more and meet new people. It's easier said than done, I know.

I hope the best for you