[halfthesky1019]

I have ADHD and Severe depression but I've been in counseling for years now and I'm very stable. My gf was just diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and I love her to death. She's doing really well, I guess my issue here is I'm just as scared as she is, with the diagnosis and uncertainty. I've read so many stories about why you shouldn't date anyone with schizophrenia etc. But I'm trying to get a inside honest answer to this. I love her and I understand but I feel scared in a sense.

[Mountainbard]

I understand your being scared. If you love her you have to do what is best for both of you. And if you're very stable and understand schizophrenia, you shouldn't worry about stories you've read. This is the same girl you were in love with before the diagnosis. Trust your love for her and not your fear. It is said love and fear cannot coexist in the same heart, so concentrate on your love. If you do I feel certain that you will know what is the right thing to do. You love her to death, as you say yourself, and she needs you. It seems to me that that's what counts. I wish you both the best of luck.

[JustJenny]

I agree with the post above. Let her know you will be there for her and help her pull through when she needs help.

[halfthesky1019]

Thank you both. Its hard because all I read is horror stories about how you shouldn't date someone with a psychotic disorder. Like you never read the good...

[JustJenny]

If you two love eachother - don't give up. I have no experience in this, but as far as understand the horror stories come from people for whom it didn't work out. Psychotic symptoms vary from person to person and the effect is also different. I am sure that there are reasonably happy couples living out there, they just don't share their stories.

How did your girl take the diagnosis? What are her main complaints?

[CopperStar]

It depends a lot on whether or not the person is willing to do their best to manage the mental illness.

Take my biological father for example. He clearly has mental illness problems, has my whole life, but he always refused to get proper help. He turned to drinking instead, became an alcoholic and even developed some alcohol dementia. Even without his mental health problems, he is a nasty, entitled person, takes no responsibility and his life has been one massive train wreck that he is always trying to suck other people into (so that he can use them).

Then you have schizophrenic people who are the polar opposite. They are empathetic and compassionate, and want to do everything they can to not hurt others. They take responsibility and try their best to manage symptoms. They're willing to try medications until they find the right one(s), and stick with it. They're open to proper communication that allows them to share a functional relationship with others.

There are also different type of schizophrenia, which can make a huge difference. Schizoaffective of course means mood swings, which implies that she doesn't have negative symptoms or "flat effect". Some people with schizophrenia suffer from a flat effect, become extremely withdrawn and are unable to truly interact with others in a meaningful way. This manifestation is especially tragic and would make it extremely difficult to have a relationship. However some schizophrenics experience more so positive symptoms like paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, etc, and it's a matter of getting those symptoms under control while leaving the core emotions and personality in tact.

[ChipperMonkey]

Originally Posted by halfthesky1019

Thank you both. Its hard because all I read is horror stories about how you shouldn't date someone with a psychotic disorder. Like you never read the good...

Just remember that MOST of what you read on the Internet is negative and complaining. People who are doing well simply live their lives. They don't feel a need to go out and tell everyone. (Well I guess this is shifting but in a sense it still holds true.) Hence why you only read stories about the bad side of things.