[James2128]

Hey guys.

I posted a while ago about someone I fell out with and in the end I made up with them, this post is about the same person.

Probably a few months ago my friend was at her boyfriends house and his bestfriend "touched" her while she was asleep. There was a huge fall out obviously however after a month all went back to normal again.

Two weeks ago he did it again and now she is getting the police involved and her boyfriend is sticking up for his friend and not her despite what happened, oh and this guy also stole £100 from my friends boyfriend and spent it on drugs so he's not a great guy at all.

My friend has had depression among other things for a large part of her life and because of that she has self harmed and often said she wanted to commit suicide. She's only actually gone through with it two or three times however luckily she was caught and recovered.

A lot of the time when she says about suicide she doesn't mean it deep down however she has just told me shes going to try and kill herself everyday now after whats happened and I think she really is going to this time. She was fired from a care home, violated and then her boyfriend split up with her all in about 2/3 weeks so its a horrible time for her at the moment.

Possible trigger:

Tonight her mum caught her attempting to drink bleach apparently so it seems she really is trying to do it.

Does anybody have any advice what I can do to help? I can't get through to her. I've been with her the last two weeks which she said has helped and I've tried to keep her hopeful however I'm pretty much the only positive thing she has in life at the moment and I don't think thats enough to make her stop. Sorry if I posted this in the wrong place, I feel like every moment I waste is another closer to her ending her life so I'm quite worried at the moment.

[Skeezyks]

Hello James 2128: You know... I'm sorry to have to write this... but the cold hard reality is that if your friend is truly determined to kill herself, there's not much you or anyone else can do to prevent it (unless she's a minor & her mom can have her involuntarily hospitalized.) I've been there more than once... The best you can do is to be with her as much as is practical & let her know she can reach out to you at any time she wants. Of course, also try to get anything she might use to kill herself out of her reach. You can also encourage her to seek mental health services, including hospitalization if necessary. Consider calling a suicide prevention hotline as well for additional support & information.

If you & her mom are on good terms, perhaps between the two of you, you can keep a close watch of her & both encourage her to get the help she needs, including hopefully some individual therapy if she does not already have it. But also, be sure & take care of yourself too. Being there for someone who is suicidal can be wearing in the extreme. And, of course, if the person does ultimately end her life, then there is allot of regret, guilt, & self-doubt that gets left behind... to say nothing of the fact that one person's suicide tends to bestow permission to do the same on those who were close to the person.

I wish you all the best...

[ChipperMonkey]

Call the police.

Suicide threats ALWAYS need to be taken seriously. If someone is threatening suicide, you don't try to reason with them, you don't try to fix them yourselves. This is a matter for professionals and for professionals only. They are the only ones trained to handle this sort of situation.

I know this sounds harsh, but it is what it is. As someone who was suicidal in the past, I wholeheartedly agree that when someone threatens suicide that its hospital time.

Because if you don't?

They may end up dead and you'll always think "why didn't I do more?"

[ThunderGoddess]

Offer to take her to a crisis center or call the emergency line and have the police come pick her up to take her.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by James2128

Hey guys.

I posted a while ago about someone I fell out with and in the end I made up with them, this post is about the same person.

Probably a few months ago my friend was at her boyfriends house and his bestfriend "touched" her while she was asleep. There was a huge fall out obviously however after a month all went back to normal again.

Two weeks ago he did it again and now she is getting the police involved and her boyfriend is sticking up for his friend and not her despite what happened, oh and this guy also stole £100 from my friends boyfriend and spent it on drugs so he's not a great guy at all.

My friend has had depression among other things for a large part of her life and because of that she has self harmed and often said she wanted to commit suicide. She's only actually gone through with it two or three times however luckily she was caught and recovered.

A lot of the time when she says about suicide she doesn't mean it deep down however she has just told me shes going to try and kill herself everyday now after whats happened and I think she really is going to this time. She was fired from a care home, violated and then her boyfriend split up with her all in about 2/3 weeks so its a horrible time for her at the moment.

Possible trigger:

Tonight her mum caught her attempting to drink bleach apparently so it seems she really is trying to do it.

Does anybody have any advice what I can do to help? I can't get through to her. I've been with her the last two weeks which she said has helped and I've tried to keep her hopeful however I'm pretty much the only positive thing she has in life at the moment and I don't think thats enough to make her stop. Sorry if I posted this in the wrong place, I feel like every moment I waste is another closer to her ending her life so I'm quite worried at the moment.

I agree with the other commenters, she needs to be in the hospital until she gets her suicidal ideation under control. Your friend was assaulted, I don't know what "touched" means but I'm going to assume it would be considered an assault since she was asleep and did not consent. She needs to be in therapy to work through her feelings of that happening and also the boyfriend not supporting her after that trauma. The best thing you can do is be there for her, listen to her, never blame her for the assault, and the #1 thing is that if her mother isn't doing anything about it, to convince her mother to get her inpatient treatment.

James 2128, I have to agree. If a person does not want help you cannot rescue them. If they made up their mind to do themselves in cause they see no way out, you cannot convince them otherwise. I am sorry your friend is going through this. Pray for her, that is all i know to do. I have had relatives commit suicide before. I understand the ramifications of it. Just pray for her. This past Friday, 4 Dec. my friend Overdosed tried to commit suicide. ended up in the emergency room with ambulance and the cops. I am glad she is alive. I worry about her too, but I tell her it is selfish to do so. And i told her I loved her. You have to go with that. tc (((hugs)))

[Nammu]

Call a suicide hotline and talk to them, they can ask questions and give you better advice on what to do.

[Bill3]

If you are speaking with her, read up a bit on reflective listening.

For example: if she says "I have no friends."

An unhelpful response is: "Of course you have friends, for one thing, I am your friend." By this response you show her that you cannot understand how she feels and you thereby reinforce the idea that she is right to feel alone. You also invalidate and dismiss her by contradicting her.

The issue is not the facts of the situation, the issue is her feelings about the situation.

A helpful response is: "You feel so alone right now."

By this response you show her that you do understand her, you validate her, you show her that she can actually connect with someone.

[James2128]

Hey guys just wanted to update saying I took your advice into account and shes doing okay. I doubt it was me but she's decided not to do it which I'm very glad about, thanks for all the replies.