[Rachelakabatman]

Most people with depression seem to lose interest in friends. They cut themselves off. I however have gotten extremely clingy. I no longer have internal happiness so I use my friends to make me happy. I know this has taken a toll on them because I get upset with them easily if they are not there for me the extent I want them to be. I feel very empty inside. But I also have episodes of extreme sadness and anger.

Possible trigger:

I will hit myself, cut myself, bite myself, hit things, break things, name call, and cry until I make myself sick. I have extreme suicidal ideation and fantasize about it often.

I no longer know who I am as a person. I feel empty. I used to be so sure of myself and future. And while I still have the potential for great things I no longer have the energy or care to do them. My friends all left. They said they will try again with me when I am better. But honestly I almost don't want to get better. I just want to be sad. I have a counseling appt. next Friday and I am hoping I can get a diagnoses so I know what to do. I feel so hurt. I was always there for my friends. I would even drive an hour to see my friend when she was depressed to make sure she was okay. Ever since my friends left I almost feel like I am not worth anything. Including help.

[IceCreamKid]

You are doing the right thing seeking an appointment. You will learn more about your situation there. I can tell you that you are an inherently worthy person.

You sound younger; many times younger people have difficulty coping when their friends are distressed. Please focus on getting yourself in a better place emotionally and worry about those friendships later.

[avlady]

i agree with icecreamkid and get yourself better before you work on your friends. all will fall in place when you can be yourself and then treat yourself and others better too.

[Bill3]

[Fuzzybear]

[introm]

Both things are typical of depression: you let loose from people who are your friends and family, and you cling to people who are your lifeline.

Some people (not because they are depressed) get obsessed with ex-partners, potential lovers and the like. Take care with ruminating thoughts around people who appear essential to you right now. It could be just part of the mental issues.