[bcollin76]

There is a woman I know that keeps repeating the same pattern of behavior over and over and I am curious to get everyone's take on it. She is 38 years old and on her 5th marriage. In each marriage, she has cheated on her husband with multiple sexual partners, while withholding sex from the husband. Once she gets caught, she gets divorced, then re-marries and starts the process all over. Because she becomes pretty well known in the communities in which she lives, she moves around a lot. During her 5 marriages, she has lived in or worked in dozens of cities. She doesn't seem to have a particular "type" of man. None of her husbands have been particularly good looking, nor are many of the men she has slept with. However, she is very attractive herself. The men she has been married to or slept with have not been wealthy, either. Her behavior doesn't seem to fit neatly into any one particular disorder, so I am wondering what everyone's thoughts are as to why she is continuing this pattern of behavior. What are her motives? What makes someone behave this way? Thanks, in advance, for your input.

[Trippin2.0]

Maybe she's not sick at all.


Maybe she's just not monogamous at heart.

[divine1966]

Does she live off these men? Even if they aren't wealthy? My take on this is that she just wants their money? How can one be moving so much? Wouldn't she be losing jobs with these moves? If she just isn't monogamous, she doesn't need to get married

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[spondiferous]

It's hard to say. I'd just ask her, if you want to know. Sometimes there is no logical explanation, even when we're the ones doing behaviours ourselves. There are several things I do that I can't for the life of me explain. But I agree with what Trippin said, perhaps she's not sick at all. Not everything is a result of 'illness'. Could be that's how she gets her needs met, whatever they are. Could be she's not aware of the pattern. Could be she is, and doesn't know how to change it, or doesn't want to. Could be lots of things.

[kaliope]

hi bcollin
you know that awesome feeling you get inside when someone is attracted to you? when you know someone wants you? the feeling of new love? some people are really addicted to that. some people are so desperate for love and attention for whatever reason that they are constantly getting involved in relationships because it is interpreted as being wanted, loved and accepted. it fills and empty hole inside of them. some people really like sex. in bipolar cycling, some people are hypersexual. there are a multitude of reasons. she may not even know her own motivations.

welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[Brasucasulu]

That sounds like sex addiction to me. If she wants to sleep around, she shouldn't get married on the first place.

[ChipperMonkey]

Selfishness isn't a disorder. (You've gotta be selfish on some level to do those sorts of things, marry, cheat, and so on.)

Maybe she has very low self esteem and sleeps around because she's addicted to the new feelings of lust from these guys.

Maybe she's not pathological but for the love of God, this woman is NOT a good person. I'd stay away from her. We ARE judged by the company we keep.

[gayleggg]

She may have a sex addiction or love addiction problem. It fits the pattern. It takes the intervention of a professional are hitting bottom and seeking help to break the pattern.

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[ComfortablyNumb5]

Yea she seems to be hooked on new attention where ever she can get it. Does she possibly have BPD? She should be in therapy I think. It sounds like she suffers from low self esteem. I mean 5 marriages and she hasn't learned from her mistakes? Come on now! There's self help books out there for love addiction that maybe you can bring up with her.