[Brasucasulu]

We have been friends for about 2 years. I like this person, but her stubbornness became a problem for me.
She has a very good life, money, good family, etc., and I have been struggling with personal and work problems.
We chat nearly everyday, and I try not to speak too much about my problems, as I am trying not to become depressed. My friend, on the other hand, keep complaining of everything and everyone, nothing really serious. And every time I try to give her some advice, she says 'no, I'm gonna do this and that'.
She was deciding her vacation, and she told me that she was going to Canada in winter. As she pregnant, has 3 other kids, and we live in a hot climate place, I told her that maybe would be better if she went to a warmer place. She of course told me that she loves the cold and that they can only enjoy it once a year. I didn't mentioned it anymore, but yesterday she called me from her vacation. She told me that she and the kids were sick because of the cold, that she hates the cold and she had 3 broker ribs of coughing. She said next year we will go to Germany instead. I told her that Germany is very cold in winter too, and why doesn't she go to Mexico? She said she know it, and that she hates Mexico because it is dangerous and they are bad to women there (although she's never actually been to Mexico). Like this many other stories, form her kids school, her car mechanic, her selfish sister, that baby-shower party, etc...
I know it sounds selfish, but I am just tired of listening to her complains, and getting the answer "no" every time I try to give her an advice. And she's not very good listening to criticism.
Should I distance myself form her?

[Bill3]

What do you like about her?

I am just tired of listening to her complains, and getting the answer "no" every time I try to give her an advice. And she's not very good listening to criticism.

If you like her and want to remain friends, you could try stopping giving her advice and stopping giving her criticism, and see how it goes.

[divine1966]

I know it's annoying when people always complain and are negative but she could also be annoyed with you advising her on her vacation choices ( unless she asks for advice) as well as unsolicited criticism).

I had people making comments about my vacation choices: "what's there to see in Arizona except cacti? You are willing to drive to Tennessee just to see great smokies? You like NYC? Isn't it crowded there? You like France???? Why? People are so rude there!" I am not kidding.

I think the only time you should advice on vacation choices is when they explicitly ask. Otherwise leg them make their own choices.

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[ChipperMonkey]

I would distance myself from her. It sounds like she's going to complain even if you give no advice. These kinds of people zap your positive energy. Nobody likes being around a buzzkill.

[specialneedsmom]

Sometimes, people are just venting their frustrations and not really asking for advice. Did she specifically ask you for advice?
Be careful about giving someone unsolicited advice. Unless they specifically ask for advice, just let it go. If you don't want to hear them vent anymore then don't listen to them.
I agree with her about Mexico, because just yesterday I was researching travel places and that country was listed as one of the most dangerous for tourists. I would not go there either.

[Rose76]

You probably should not bother advising her. If she says she plans a trip to the Carribean at the height of hurricaine season, or a trip to the Midwest right when tornados are predicted, just say that you hope she has a good time. It'll be what it'll be, and whatever that is won't really be your problem.

I don't think I would distance myself, necessarily, but I'ld lessen the time I spend on these daily phone calls. It's not selfish at all to burn out on listening to someone whining. You don't have to announce your intention to her. Just do it.