How do you respond if someone asks if you're angry?

shakespeare47 · Jan 05, 2016, 11:13 AM

How would you respond if someone asked you if you were angry? I can't know for sure, but I tend to the think the person asking the question has some issue (like maybe they're angry?) they need to deal with, but can't put it in terms of "I" questions or comments.

I'm thinking more along the lines of someone you don't know well, or someone who has had a history of being hostile. It would be completely different if the question were coming from a trusted friend.

And I tend to interpret it like I would if someone were to ask me if "I was still beating my wife".

Thoughts?

divine1966 · Jan 05, 2016, 11:16 AM

Some people always think others are angry or upset with them: insecurity?. I work With his woman who always thinks everyone is angry. She is generally very insecure and has a bit immature social skills.

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Rose76 · Jan 05, 2016, 01:05 PM

Some questions deserve to be answered with questions. You could respond with, "What makes you ask that?"

specialneedsmom · Jan 05, 2016, 01:30 PM

Perhaps they did something wrong, and are wondering if you will notice. So they ask you if you are angry.

LucyD · Jan 05, 2016, 05:14 PM

Sometimes people think they sense your anger. Are you angry. There's nothing wrong with being angry if you are. I don't always tell people when I'm angry but maybe I should more. Best wishes to you.

Trippin2.0 · Jan 05, 2016, 06:20 PM

Some people also have "angry faces"...

Easy to misread these types.

When I was a child, I steered clear from my brother in law because he usually looked angry.

Turns out he never realized how much he frowned until I pointed it out at the ripe old age of 14.

He took my words to heart and became much more approachable after we cleared up that little (huge) misunderstanding.

ChipperMonkey · Jan 05, 2016, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Some people also have "angry faces"...

Easy to misread these types.

When I was a child, I steered clear from my brother in law because he usually looked angry.

Turns out he never realized how much he frowned until I pointed it out at the ripe old age of 14.

He took my words to heart and became much more approachable after we cleared up that little (huge) misunderstanding.

Ahhh, resting bytch face!

I knew a girl in high school who had that. But she was actually pretty bitter anyway so not a good example.

leomama · Jan 06, 2016, 02:28 AM

I would ask the person why they are asking, or what that has to do with them.

lunatic soul · Jan 06, 2016, 09:18 AM

Mostly people who ask this a lot are insecure.
I would ask them- why do you think so?
If there were a reason for me to be angry I would answer to this question yes or no.

Jan 06, 2016, 09:26 AM

My answer normally is: "Not yet...". That is normally enough to prevent any further questions.

But seriously, if it's someone who I don't know asking me that, I just tell him/her it's none of his/her business.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

How would you respond if someone asked you if you were angry? I can't know for sure, but I tend to the think the person asking the question has some issue (like maybe they're angry?) they need to deal with, but can't put it in terms of "I" questions or comments.

I'm thinking more along the lines of someone you don't know well, or someone who has had a history of being hostile. It would be completely different if the question were coming from a trusted friend.

And I tend to interpret it like I would if someone were to ask me if "I was still beating my wife".

Thoughts?

Jan 06, 2016, 09:27 AM

Well I suppose it would have everything to do with whether or not I was actually angry.

If I were, I would be honest but I would also ask why they thought so? Does it bother them that I am?

Circumstance would have everything to do with it for me; and, ultimately, is my anger legitimate? I would inform the person what about the situation I was finding difficult. Ultimately, I may have to tell them it is my own business.

MiddayNap · Jan 06, 2016, 11:46 AM

I'm having difficulty understanding why one shouldn't ask another if they're angry, regardless of their familiarity or disposition. If someone were to ask whether I was angry, I would simply answer "yes" or "no".
Is it considered rude to ask another person of their emotional state in specifics?

healingme4me · Jan 06, 2016, 12:21 PM

To be candidly honest, if someone randomly asked me if I was angry, I'd want to flee for the hills. My ex was chronically asking me if I was mad at him.

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divine1966 · Jan 06, 2016, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

To be candidly honest, if someone randomly asked me if I was angry, I'd want to flee for the hills. My ex was chronically asking me if I was mad at him.

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I often think people are angry with me because I grew up with angry father. I don't worry if strangers are angry but I sure worry about loved ones. Typically for no reason. It's just how I grew up.

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healingme4me · Jan 06, 2016, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I often think people are angry with me because I grew up with angry father. I don't worry if strangers are angry but I sure worry about loved ones. Typically for no reason. It's just how I grew up.

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It probably does have to do to a large extent with his upbringing. He is insecure. It became overwhelming to realize there was an unsoothed void deep inside him. I get that he's like that.

However, I don't even have a rbf, so being asked without any context would raise that flight response.

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shakespeare47 · 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MiddayNap

I'm having difficulty understanding why one shouldn't ask another if they're angry, regardless of their familiarity or disposition. If someone were to ask whether I was angry, I would simply answer "yes" or "no".
Is it considered rude to ask another person of their emotional state in specifics?

Look at the context. It's someone you don't know all that well, or someone who has a history of making hostile comments. If you haven't had to deal with hostile people who will do anything and everything to try and push your buttons, then count yourself lucky.

That being said, I think perhaps the most reasonable way to respond is to say "why do you ask?"

MiddayNap · Jan 08, 2016, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

Look at the context. It's someone you don't know all that well, or someone who has a history of making hostile comments. If you haven't had to deal with hostile people who will do anything and everything to try and push your buttons, then count yourself lucky.

That being said, I think perhaps the most reasonable way to respond is to say "why do you ask?"

Ah, but I have dealt with incredibly hostile people. I worked in fast-food for two years and in retail for about one. I believe that sentence alone should be sufficient enough to illustrate the sort of lovely people I've come across.
But even imagining the nastiest person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting asking whether I am mad or not doesn't bother me in the slightest. I still don't understand why it's rude. Is this sort of like when a child bullies a classmate until her breaking point, then taunts "What's the matter? Are you going to cry?" ? Is this the adult-version of that?
Bah! People make no sense, I've decided.

shakespeare47 · 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MiddayNap

Is this sort of like when a child bullies a classmate until her breaking point, then taunts "What's the matter? Are you going to cry?" ? Is this the adult-version of that?

Yes. That's been my experience.