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#1
Jan 07, 2016, 03:32 PM
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I need help handling my kid bro (we are 18yrs apart, did not grow up together) has or is bi-polar, and highly unpredictable, one day he is all friendly and the next he is spoiling for a FIGHT (today is such a day)! Ever since he was a baby I have tried to love him, be his friend, keep the door open to him (he is 45 and I am 63). Everyone else has shut the door to him, because of his out of control behavior! But, I just cannot go there! I would hate for someone to do that to me! So, I keep being there for him, but, my husband and I, are in the midst of our own human woes with failing health and a stressed out marriage. Frankly, I can't handle anyone who is out of control, and my brother IS! He can be highly abusive and intimidating when he is angry and in a tormenting state of his own.
Feeling overwhelmed and at a total loss. Any suggestions? |
 marmaduke
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#2
Jan 07, 2016, 03:41 PM
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Is he getting any professional help at the moment?
__________________
The thought that life could be better is woven indelibly into our hearts and our brains. - Paul Simon |
| marmaduke
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#3
Jan 07, 2016, 03:48 PM
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Quote:
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| marmaduke
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#4
Jan 07, 2016, 03:53 PM
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He probably needs medication. Professional help.
There is not much you can do if he refuses to go to the doctor. Look after yourself. Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk |
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#5
Jan 07, 2016, 04:53 PM
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I'm sorry your brother is struggling so. I know it must be very painful for you to watch. If he is out of control there is, sadly, really nothing you can do for him. Untreated bipolar gets progressively worse over the years, and it sounds like your brother has not had effective treatment for a long time-- maybe ever. You have to take care of yourself and deal with your own issues first. You say he can be highly abusive and intimidating when he's angry. This sounds like it makes him dangerous to himself and others. As painful as it may be, committal and inpatient treatment may be the only thing that can bring him out of his spiral. But it's not up to you to do that. At some point some authority will. It's definitely up to you to take care of yourself and be safe.
__________________
Dx Bipolar II 2014 -- currently in remission Stay calm, be kind, have hope, love lots, and be well. "Listen to the deep voice of your soul. Do not be distracted by the voice of your mind." -- Caitlin Matthews[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] |
| healingme4me
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#6
Jan 07, 2016, 08:22 PM
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I mentioned to him about his swinging between being friendly and then angry, and asked if he was taking his meds, he said yes, but his behavior says otherwise. Then he apologized and said that he didn't mean what he said, honestly, that is highly suspect, because he ment every last word! His outright lying to me! Not good! No he is not getting any counseling, cannot afford it where he lives. |
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#7
Jan 07, 2016, 08:34 PM
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He's not responsible for having MI but he is responsible for taking care of himself and making sure that he doesn't treat others poorly and act abusively toward them.
The whole "abandonment" thing does get a bad rap at times. Yes, it sucks to be abandoned by others, and I hate it when people lay on a guilt trip when you remove someone from your life, however we all have our limits. Why should someone feel guilty for disconnecting from someone who acts abusively? I think you should have a heart to heart with your brother. Tell him that his behavior is unacceptable and you won't tolerate it. When he does treat you like crap, walk away or ask him to leave (if its your home). Sooner or later he will realize that if he wants you in his life, he can't treat you that way. This way you're giving him every opportunity in the world to stay in your life, with the ultimate decision being his. Also, tell him that you're concerned that his medications aren't working. Its not just about taking meds, its about taking the right meds. Medications can poop out over time. Consistent med monitoring is a must along with the client being honest with their doctor. I think its great that you want to support your brother, but remember that you must always put yourself first. If he is taking you down, its time to jump ship. Its noble to want to help someone else, but we can't sacrifice ourselves in the process.
__________________
Will work for bananas.
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#8
Jan 07, 2016, 11:51 PM
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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