Everyone in my life is a disapointment....

I almost can't believe what I am dealing with in my life. I have a husband who I can't live with because he controls everything that I do, criticizes everything I do and has outburst over the smallest of things. Next on the list is my teenage son who does nothing around the house to help me despite knowing I am partially disabled from spinal injuries. He lies about his school work and seems to have no ambition. I attend school full time and I am currently looking for work since the separation from my husband. I feel that if my husband still helps me financially then he will no doubt expect "things" in return. I have no family to lean on and the one person I had my mother has suffered brain damage in the last 4 months and had to leave my home and go to a facility for those suffering from memory loss. She barely remembers who I am....after years of being with me on a daily basis. My daughters biological father does nothing to help me with her despite knowing she has autism....11 years of zero support from him! I never know where he lives or works when he works.

My daughters grandparents are very wealthy and it is her son that does **** for us. They do nice stuff for the kids but never really step in when my back is to the wall. I know its not their responsibility but they are in a position to really help out. I feel like I am surrounded by a bunch of as@$%les!! I wish I could save money and just move to another state with different faces and just be free of them all with the exception of my son of course.

I know that my husband has the potential to be dangerous and I have had to keep the peace when he calls me.....he is going to see a psychologist on the 23rd. he wants me to be a part of his therapy. I live an hour away from where he is staying so I can't be there in person but I am hoping to be able to participate over the phone. I just want to have the opportunity to tell his psychologist the behaviors that he has exhibited while with us and they will no doubt recognize them as abusive and I am hoping they will talk to him and maybe that will help in some small way as far as safety goes. Better to hear it from a professional then just me.

What I need is a job first and then a break fro it all.....it never ends. I can't even sleep at night often staying up till 3am when I have to up at 7am.....I desperately want to quit smoking but now seems to be bad timing......last thing I need is a nervous breakdown.