[HippoMey]

Hi, this is probably similar to one or two posts previously.

My current situation is that I am dating a man who has two daughters from his previous marriage. We have been together for a year and a bit. And we have lived together for around half a year. He has the girls every second weekend, and one weeknight every week. I get along with him extremely well. We love each other a lot. However, things started to get a little bitter a couple of months after we started living together.

I feel like he started to want to see his kids more and more, and that he thinks that his time with me is no longer important since he sees me everyday. I don't mind this if he wants to see them more, however I asked him to arrange it with me first in advance, and not to be last minute. I do not appreciate it if he tells me on the same exact day that he would have the kids earlier than we planned it to be.

We started having fights because of this. He always tells me that I am just unhappy if he sees his kids. All I want is for him to plan it and tell me in advance (and stick to the plan). After all, I always respected his time with them (if he is already supposed to have them every second weekend, I never tried to change it). So I expect that he respects our time too, unless of course it is an emergency.

His kids have been quite respectful towards me. We are not close, since I have only been introduced to them not long before we started living together. The younger one gets jealous and wants to get her dad's attention all to herself. But the older one has been very mature. I try to understand their behaviour, but of course whenever they are around I always feel like an outsider without fail. This is most felt when they are sitting on the couch and watching tv and cuddling their dad. Then I sit all alone on the far end of the couch. Sigh.

The other thing is that his ex has always played a big part in our falling apart. She uses the kids as a weapon, and if he doesn't do as she likes, she always threatens him that he can't see the kids. A few times she would mess up the plan, and taking them away when she wasn't supposed to. She wouldn't let us have the kids to attend my bf's brother's wedding, as I believe that she is just very jealous of me; and she thinks that if she doesn't get to go, then her kids wouldn't go.

As of a few days ago, we had a big fight again (of the same reason: he changes the plan last minute without discussing it with me). I was very upset and moved most of my stuff out of his place. I am temporarily living back at my parents. We both still love each other very much, but I do not know what the best solution is. I want to be with him and I believe time will make me close to his kids and vice versa. But I need him to understand that I really don't and can't tolerate him changing his plans without telling me (I feel very betrayed and disrespected, quite frankly). I'm not sure what else I can do.

Please advise if you have suggestions...