Ever hear/read that quote which says, "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die?" I am beginning to be acutely aware of what that means.

As some of you are aware, I've been angry this week. The story doesn't matter (because it would just ramble), but I was able to vent my anger to the appropriate party yesterday. It wasn't necessarily something I should have done, but man, it made me feel better at the time. They responded and weren't as angry as I felt, which actually made me more angry. So of course, though I gave myself time, I responded angrily. And I wasn't too nice.

And now I feel rotten. It's not like I don't feel the things I said were untrue or unjustified. It's that they weren't necessary, and the negativity and anger are affecting my life and I'm sure they're affecting the other person's as well. I am sad because I think I have a good friend who currently isn't speaking to me because my negative boo-hooing earlier this week probably negatively affected her life.

I know that I have a bit of a problem with emotions. I have learned to separate things, areas of my life, into certain categories. For example, when I'm at work, I function on one plane and don't get too emotional about anything. I get overwhelmed and stressed sometimes, and coworkers sometimes point this out, but in general while I'll never be a chill person, I don't get overly angry or sad or anything at work. There is my acquaintance persona which is pretty much the same, and this is where people first get to know me. So I think that, when they break through the fourth wall so to speak and get closer and become my friend they are surprised by the mess that's behind the curtain.

I don't know if anyone else experiences this. I'm sure I'm not the only one who walls off her life in such a way. I know it's not ideal or necessarily healthy, but it's what works.

[Artchic528]

Ruari, you sound like me with anger and emotions. Take a look at this article DocJohn wrote. It helped me tremendously with letting go and moving on. A very enlightening and cleansing experience. I worked it all out in my journal, and wrote the 5 ways down in a bullet point list so I could always look back on it and use it again if need be, which I can guarantee I will be someday.

Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On | World of Psychology

[divine1966]

Good advice artchic.

Ruari I think it's probably normal to be more reserved in expression of our emotions at work. We do have to be different in a professional environment. I also think most people do compartmentalize their life. In a professional world we certainly need to behave accordingly.

I can't say it is unhealthy at all. I don't think it is. If I feel emotional about something it doesn't mean my students need to know about it. I mean I might state that a family member is ill and I worry about her etc but I can't really show it to them fully. It would be unprofessional. And it's uncalled for to show it to workers as well

That's why if one is totally overwhelmed with whatever is going on it is wise to take a sick day ( mental health day) rather than unload it at work. When you work with people especially vulnerable: children, people with disabilities, elderly etc it is unprofessional to overwhelm them with your issues. So I am pretty sure that's how most professionals are. We all have our issues and struggles at home, but we leave it at home

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