[Macd123]

There seems to be some controversy in this area. Some think they're a good source and others loathe them - what's your experience?

[divine1966]

I've met my fiancée on a dating site. We would never meet in real life as we don't work or socialize in the same circles. I've met other nice men on there in the past. My last relationship lasted almost 9 years, it didn't work out as life long commitment but he is decent. I know plenty of married people who've met online. It is just hard to meet single people as we get older. I work with kids and spend two hours a day in the car commute and outside of work socialize mostly with women. Three hobbies that I have very female oriented. Men I know are married so online dating is the way to go for me.

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[PsychNitrous]

I've met some decent men and some jerks, it all depends. My current boyfriend and I actually met on Craigslist (not something I ever thought I would try!). I'd say it's at least worth checking out, see what kinds of people in your area use different sites (are they looking for relationships or hook-ups mostly?).

[Bill3]

Good friends of ours met online and have been married for many years now.

[A Red Panda]

It might take a bit to find what site is the more popular one in your area. So don't just use one and then quit - it can take a bit of searching! Try out free ones, although there are usually more people just looking for hook ups as they aren't going to pay to get matched up.

It can't hurt to use one - at least you can meet people your age! I joined up with the one used in my area - it's mostly for hookups. I joined while sick out of boredom. Well, I've actually met an amazing guy off it. We aren't dating but who knows if it will go that way. You can be clear about what you are looking for on the site and that will help narrow down people who will communicate with you. You won't waste as much time because you will be able to see who is looking for sex, relationships or just friends.

[Artchic528]

Meh, I've had so-so experience with online dating. Nothing to write home about. In my experience, online dating just isn't as romantic as meeting someone offline. Online dating felt rushed and hollow to me, at least my last experience was that way. It's just not worth it IMHO.

[SilverNeurotic]

I met my husband on a dating site...but loads of creeps before that.

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[seeker1950]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Meh, I've had so-so experience with online dating. Nothing to write home about. In my experience, online dating just isn't as romantic as meeting someone offline. Online dating felt rushed and hollow to me, at least my last experience was that way. It's just not worth it IMHO.

What Artchic said.

[Macd123]

Thanks - it looks like a toss up again so what's the alternatives?

[A Red Panda]

In macs other threads, he has made it clear that he often falls for women about 40 years younger than himself. Due to that, I think trying online dating might be a good idea - at least any women who contact him (or white would contact) would be aware that it's a dating site.

[8thstreetbungalow]

i do online dating, i get nowhere. Just like offline ._.

[seeker1950]

Not necessarily pertaining to MacD, just my experiences taught me that it's "meat market" out there. The men I met were eager for a face-to-face meeting to size me up. I wanted to correspond for a while just to get to know the person. Even giving them my phone number, I was reluctant, but that was a request very early on.

Regarding the mindset of meeting online, it is not for the emotionally vulnerable. If you are hurting from a previous relationship, or simply fragile emotionally, don't even go there.

[healingme4me]

Loathe them. I took my pdocs advice a couple of years ago, I think there's a thread in the archives on PC about online dating, maybe even okcupid in the thread title. That was an interesting thread, not one that I'd started, but participated. I was rather creeped out ..one week, didn't return.

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[scorpiosis37]

I do online dating. I met my ex online and, now that I'm single again, I'm giving it another shot. I would say that I end up choosing to meet 1/15 people I correspond with in person. Of the people I meet in person, I choose to go on a second date with 1/10. So, the percentages are not great. You really have to weed through a lot of "yikes!" to find someone you like. But, if you keep at it, you do eventually find someone that you click with. It's really just a matter of whether you're willing to do the work of sending messages, meeting the people who seem cool, putting up with disappointment when they turn out not to be cool, and then being patient and hanging in there until the right person comes along. Granted, I probably am pickier than most so your percentages might turn out to be higher than mine. But I really have no other way of meeting new people, so I'm willing to take the "yikes!" if it means I will eventually find the right person. In fact, I have a date coming up on Friday with one woman and then I'm talking to a second woman who I have not yet set up a date with. So, I guess we will see if either of those pan out. Last week, I went out with two women, neither of whom I liked. So, I'm hoping this week goes better!

[divine1966]

I think it's all about meeting right people. One can meet right person online or offline. Online dating just increases ones options due to higher number of people one can choose from. Just because someone had bad experience it doesn't mean the idea itself is loathsome. One can meet at creep at church function just the same. Or if someone has trouble connecting to people it doesn't mean it is Internet fault

It is hard to meet the right person but it is not that hard to find a date as long as you are being very safe and cautious.

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[divine1966]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

In macs other threads, he has made it clear that he often falls for women about 40 years younger than himself. Due to that, I think trying online dating might be a good idea - at least any women who contact him (or white would contact) would be aware that it's a dating site.

I think it might be eye opening as it is very unlikely 20 year olds would be responding to op. When I was last time doing online dating, men in their early 60s look for women also close to retirement age or maybe maximum up to 10-15 years younger. I was contacted by few men in early 60s and their profile stated age requirements. Mind you I am 50. Not 25

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[nicoleflynn]

10 years and the experience has been mind-numbingly abysmal.....awful! Creeps, crazies.

[A Red Panda]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

10 years and the experience has been mind-numbingly abysmal.....awful! Creeps, crazies.

I'm sorry you are so jaded! I've encountered creeps too - but the creepiest have been men I met in person, and they were hard to avoid. At least on the website I could just ignore it and they had no way to contact me. And while I've met some creepy online men.... The only guy I've met in person is one of the most amazing people I've ever met!

Guess it all depends on the community, personal boundaries.... And a lot of luck!

[LibertyBelle]

Dating sites are not like shopping online. You can't just find exactly what you want and add it to you life.

I used okcupid to find someone who doesn't make my problems into bigger problems. He doesn't give me problems for having problems.

Don't hide your flaws on a dating site.

Lunch dates are the best. Movie dates are pointless wastes of time.

When meeting a stranger, it's helpful to have a place you need to be after the meeting. Keep your identity private, your home, your work, etc.

I know my city well. Drop me anyplace and I can get to any other place, no problems. Sure I got into a few stranger's cars. Young men with new cars, saddled with student debt and car payments tend to not want to crash them. I was always prepared to grab the steering wheel and swerve the car if the driver turned out to be an unreasonable maniac but luckily I never encountered a really bad person.

I don't drink alcohol. The only reason why is that I plain just don't like it. If someone was pressuring me to drink, I knew immediately I didn't want that person in my life. I'm a medical marijuana patient, if someone has a problem with that then they're also out of my life.

If someone tries to get you to do something you don't want to do, then cut your losses and get that person out of your life.

Waiting in line at the DMV is probably the most helpful date anyone can go on. If you can have fun with someone in that hell, then you know you've found a winner. Good people make everything slightly better, bad situations are more tolerable and neutral situations like traffic can be a blast.

If someone seems to be pulling out all the stops to impress you, they're probably lying to you about something. Besides dating is about seeing what life would be like with someone, and if they present a false image of that life, then it's a lie and not helpful to either party if the end goal is happiness.

There's no such thing as universal appeal. Everyone has a little list of deal breakers. Example list: I'm allergic to cats. Can't tolerate the smell of cooking eggs (major trigger for me). Can't tolerate people who yell at other cars while driving. I'm racist against Apple products.

Somewhere there's someone who loves his Mac and iPhone, starts every day waking up from under a pile of cats, eats eggs for breakfast, then yells at everyone on his way to work. All the gifts and kindness in the world won't make life with that guy a happy life for me.

Some differences matter less but you'll have to work out which ones. I can get over my dislike of iPhones but I can't just decide to not be allergic to cats. My boyfriend is a white collar sort of guy who mangles his toothpaste and ditches the toothpaste cap as if it's radioactive. I'm a disorderly adhd artsy fart and I roll my toothpaste from the bottom and always put the cap back. The other will never change. We just each have our own toothpastes because fighting over this would be lame and stupid.

The first message I got from the guy I've been with for the past few years was something like:
"So I see you just lost your job too, sad high five."

He spent the summer keeping me company while I was recovering from hoarding. I had yard sales every day and he spent time with me. It wasn't the funnest time to be had but he wanted to be with me and I was glad he saw past the disorder of my life. He didn't give me problems for having problems. I know he's got my back and is on my side.

When using okcupid, I answered none of the sex questions and about 500 other questions. If someone sent me a message with the okcupid app, I'd block their profile and delete their message but I also wrote that I would do that at the top and bottom of my profile. This is uniquely related to my distaste for both iPhones and illiterate okcupid users who don't own computers. Craft your own literacy tests to help sort out who isn't worth your time right away. Men, please read the profiles of the women you message. If a chick mentions on her page that she races model airplanes, "Hey you like model airplanes, that's awesome" works way better then "You're beautiful".

[seeker1950]

Again here...I liken it to casting a hook into the ocean and pulling out who-knows-what kind of monster.

I'll say: Go for it.

[Edgard]

I think at the same time it helps connecting people it also makes our experience of reality and relationships a bit more artificial and controlled.

[~Christina]

Mail order bride might be easier. lol

[HazyDays1203]

I met my husband on a dating site 3 years ago. I was a single mom running a daycare out of my home with no time to meet new people. He lived quite a distance away, and we never would have run into each other otherwise. We are a great match. He has his own issues that make him better understand mine and I have never felt more accepted by any one before. He is truly a great man, and me and my daughter are lucky to have found him. And its all thanks to OkCupid. lol. Of course, there was a lot of filtering done with that site.. but in the end, it was all worth it.

I say go for it.

[seeker1950]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Mail order bride might be easier. lol

LOL, Christina...so on target!