Any one have experience with a sex addict?

Not trying to upset you more - but just tossing a possibility out there. When I was having severe issues in my marriage and it resulted in my having internet affairs, one thing I did do was keep my phone near me in case my bf (I am a girl) contacted me. Guys are very visually stimulated, and they, like us, have times they feel "urges" - my (now ex-husband) used to use pirn a lot even when the marriage was good, porn is not necessarily "unhealthy". Perhaps - just a thought here - he turned to the site not because of an addiction or a need for a high but because of a feeling of loss in your relationship with him but he (for whatever reason) was either afraid to come to you about it or felt he couldn't. Maybe it started just as a need for some positive attention,(not saying you were mean to him just an example and if he felt lonely or many other things this would be a "need" as well) and just grew into something more, something he did not intend.

For me, I was being abused and had been trying to fix the relationship but the counselors were making it worse. I have borderline personality disorder so abandonment is a huge issue for me - so ending the relationship was next to impossible for me. Not to mention, I become extremely suicidal alone. I decided the only way I could ever get away was if I found someone who would allow me to come live with them with my dogs because I couldn't bear to leave my dogs either. I never thought it would happen so I did not even really try. I was just gaming online, and I met someone who defended me from someone else and we formed a strong friendship that jyst developed as far as engagement. Eventually it broke up. The point is - I was not and am not a sex addict. My marriage had been 8yrs at that time. I just needed more than I was getting and couldn't get my husband to hear me, someone else came along that gave it to me. I am not saying you are abusive. Most likely you are not. That does not mean though he does not feel he needs something he is no longer getting from you. Why not speak to him? I am not saying to condone his behavior. You should not. You do need to decide how much you love him and if your love for him is strong enough to try to repair things and if he wants to repair things.

If he was willing to join a recovery program, that would show his willingness to make positive and constructive changes. Recovery often leads to discomfort when uncomfortable truths about oneself begin to emerge.

I really hope he will accept to join a recovery program.

Oh thank you! great help, you understand. You don't just dump a 10+ year relationship with a child involved because of one issue. We have been working hard.

LOL - haven't checked his phone in 5 days, slow but getting better. I want to stay with him because I care a lot about him, he is my BFF and I love laughing and talking to him.

I know, I try to avoid therapy cuz it hurts