I self destruct

Ok women who play with my emotions in most negative ways really have me self destruct. There was this girl being overly flirtatious to be considered friendly, but honestly it was over text. I should never believe anything on the phone ever or online.

Like I can't trust anyone to be frank till they feel bad or feel they have to drop the being nice bomb. Like seriously go **** yourself, to the person who did this to me today.

Like don't flirt with me over a period of months to just say let's be friends.

I'm no way obligated to date you, but you weren't acting friendly to me you ignore me like everyone else.

I feel very ugly on the inside. I had obsessed on how mean people are to me and made it my world and self destruct myself. I got mad busted a cup on my forehead. I smacked myself and tried to make myself sick. I felt so ****** because I was tired of doing this.

I don't care if I offended her by telling her to **** off and going off on her she probably was afraid I would get angry or possessive. No you weren't telling me **** you basically ******** me the whole time you didn't care how I felt. You didn't say a word for awhile to drop me off when your desperate *** wants someone else all the time like every other person. Why can't someone obsess over me. I don't care how uncomfortable I feel. Maybe this is the pattern why I was abused by my exes in the first place. I can't do this.

I try too hard and think too much when I don't mean to or want to. I'm tired I'm very tired. Mandy days I'm anxious angry, jealous of others and hating myself for not feeling good enough. I wish therapy actually helped me but they always blew me off. I never had a decent therapist to listen to me. I know what I need and want, but it won't come unless I fix this really difficult ********.

I hate being a guy I truly do.