[HelloWorld18]

So I have officially came out to my friends, I posted a picture on snapchat of my boyfriend kissing me the other night (I've posted him on there before, but they weren't anything too gay). I'm worried of my decision to come out, yet it feels good. Now I don't have to really hide my boyfriend and I can mention him by name and what not, before I would refer to him as my friend.

As amazing as this is, my upbringing weighs it down. I was raised to read the bible everyday, go to christian school, go to church wednesday and Saturday, etc. My mom is like a southern baptist so it was pretty strict. In the fifth grade, I remember I had a dream of another guy that i found attractive. My mom is very against LGBT. I'm not fond of the group itself either, I just find that whole rainbow thing a little too much. Oh, and i was raised on Fox News as my source of entertainment thanks to the all christian satellite. throughout school, I was called gay and fag and what not. Which is why i don't want to be labelled as gay. I don't want to be labelled as anything, I could enjoy a romantic relationship with a girl, but a not so sexual one cause I am not sexually attracted to women. I spent a few years when i was 15 -ish on forums asking about my sexuality, I would pray everyday that my attraction to guys would end as from what i read online, when you're a teenager you're more willing to experiment. The one phrase that describes me is : Homosexual Biromantic . I found the phrase a little odd, but through research I found a label for myself. Now instead of saying that odd word, I just say I like girls too to people who ask. The thought of actually having a boyfriend, something I've always, secretly, wanted has come true and what makes it even better is he is the best. He has mentioned how I'm his 'soul mate' since the first day we met. I sent a message online to him then he replied and I got his snapchat. Then I forgot about him, and all the sudden he randomly snaps me saying "When are you going to take me on a date?" and i said how about next week. So I guess thats when we started 'dating'? When we constantly saw each other but referred to each other as 'friends' to people who ask. I wanted to get to know him, so I waited a month of us dating (we saw each other 3x a week at one point). I made a mistake though, I was also dating another guy, the first guy I dated didn't know about the other, but the second guy knew I was dating another guy. I didn't think online dating actually worked so thats why I was dating both guys cause my very first date i ever went on with anyone (girl and guy) was a success which came to a surprise, and my second date I've ever went on with another person was a success. So I just wanted to get to know the both of them before making any decisions. Which is what I did. (This was back in december), on January 5, i stayed the night and that morning is when I said I want you to be my boyfriend and he said yes. Funny thing is, we care about each other equally as much, like were both worried that the other person is gonna leave them (due to past experiences on his and mines side). This relationship has caused a great level of stress and anxiety, all of which is not his fault (I have anxiety disorder), but none the less I am thankful everyday that i have him. I follow him everywhere when were together, I'm like a dog for him lol, I'm always by his side when were together and I'm always taking 'selfies' with us (he does the same).

I understand how my relationship my offend someone, which is why were respectful in public. I'm not much of a public kisser anyways so I keep it with hugs and holding hands or having my hand on his thigh (my arm is always on his thigh, when we eat, when i drive and sometimes when i sleep lol).

Many Christians say that homosexuality is unnatural, but I can't help but think the stereotypical "I didn't choose to be gay" phrase. I had my first 'scarring' crush on a guy in the 4th grade. As i grew older, I wasn't really noticing women as much as men, for every 4-5 guys theres one girl i notice. I also never really felt sexually attracted to women. I've struggled with this my whole life. Another note, if sex between man and man is unnatural, why would the stimulation of the prostate increase pleasure. The first person I came out to was a coworker close to my age at work, then I found out thanks to her telling me after I told her that she is bi.

I didn't come out as a label by saying something like "i'm gay" or anything. I started off slowly by making little hints (like posting a ton of snaps with him in them) and secret little hints like a comment of the picture saying " christmas work party" with a heart eye emoji. Then by that time i was out to my cousin, then a few weeks ago i came out to my close friends, then a few days ago I came out to everyone EXCEPT family. My parents haven't an idea.

[HelloWorld18]

I haven't gotten any negative feedback too. In fact I've been told "You two are so cute" and i was holding hands with my first date on our first date (he's not my now boyfriend) walking through the mall when all the sudden a lady (drunk probably lol) came and wanted to give both of us a high five saying "awe". and with the picture of him kissing me that i put on snapchat, my hs best friend text me saying "is that your boyfriend if so I'm so happy for you when do i get to meet him?"

I chose my current boyfriend because i felt like he truly loved me and cared about me, i would get to see him a lot (I had a requirement of 3-4x a week, I don't wanna see my boyfriend once a week cause how is that a relationship?), he was handsome, and last of many other reasons, because our second 'date' (i stayed the night at his house) he introduced me to his parents and sister and when i told him about the other guy (thats when I told him, our second date) he said that he doesn't mean to make it sound like its a competition but he was going to fight for me. He told me I'm the only guy to stay the night and the only guy to meet his parents (but a few weeks ago, I found out that there was another guy who met his parents).

[healingme4me]

Congratulations and good to hear that you've positive feedback.

I know that coming out was a very delicate matter for my cousin. My gram, his aunt, was visiting me and the kids years ago, and I recall asking her, is he? Followed with, if he is that's ok by me. And she grinned and said, yes, but outing to the family was a struggle due to her brother's family being so rigid with christianity. Alls well, that ends well. They eventually married, having been together close to twenty years and the entire family was in attendance.

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