[Wanderlust90]

2 years ago I was still smoking shard (ice/meth) & which I had been doing for a period of 3 years with my partner. I began to become extraordinarily jealous & suspicious of him. I once found some fairly innocent messages between him & an ex of his & completely lost my ****. I went blank & feel as if it hurt so much I may have even been dissociating, I remember just feeling numb & staring & my partner being really upset & trying to get me to speak but I couldn't. Total overreaction. I then started to stalk his facebook & email & phone & was not shy about it. I felt I was in the right. I would listen to no one when they said I was being crazy about it. I would spend hours searching for evidence. Literally sometimes even a couple days when we were actively smoking. It consumed me. I would get into a state where I couldn't talk to the people around me & instead obsessively searched for evidence of his "cheating." At the time cheating also meant looking up porn to me. I don't see it like that anymore. It was as if my extreme jealously & suspicion faded slowly but significantly after I stopped using. I was at the point that I was installing key logger software on his computer I was so convinced of his cheating with absolutely no proof that wasn't based on some theory of mine about what he was up to. I have since been given a bipolar spectrum, probably bipolar 2 dx. Has anyone else ever experienced this? I presume it was related to the drug use but I'm just curious as if you read about morbid jealousy or delusions of infidelity I can pretty much tick every symptom box during that 3 year period.

Well, I DID catch mine.

My suspicions did prove correct but I wonder if I would have ever found out were I not a suspicious person by nature. For me it comes from history, anxiety, depression, and a heck of a good dose of poor self esteem. But I didn't go on a detective hunt. In my case he was just really really stupid. I picked up on the clue and it wasn't too hard to see the indicators from there.

I think wondering and questioning our intuition is natural but ruminating upon it and letting it run our lives may be part of our being ill. Of course if the red flag is there, you've got to pay attention to it. But I don't think you can let it consume you to the point you can't function.

Finally we come to trust. I don't believe - no matter how much you love someone - you can ignore mistrust in a relationship. I just don't believe it can work. To do so would be the double whammy of cheating yourself.

Just my opinion

[brainhi]

Through my life my point of view/understanding of jealousy has change for me. Most of us have had jealousy all our lives... siblings, coworkers, schoolmates, other's relationships and so on... to envy something we do not think we have. To feel betrayed by someone else's attention to another. Most of the time that unpleasant feeling is normal. Sometimes our significant other is just a user and a liar.....even if you do catch them... then what?? Hopefully they are out of your life. They cheated or were not honest... let them go. Heck ya it's painful. You do not want someone that is not on the same page with you. And sometimes the relationship has run it's course and instead of letting go... cheating is the stupid answer.

I can imagine things can get really out of control when we throw drugs and alcohol in the mix.

We will always be let down to an extent our whole lives. We can only get better at managing who we let in and trust. Sometimes we are fooled at first. That is not your fault. But learn to be aware that you are worthy of better.

I have had unwarranted jealousy aimed at me... it's annoying as heck. Red flags. I'm out.

[Victoria'smom]

Yes, me and my therapist was talking about this just the week before last. I was convinced tHat my husband who is around me 24 7 was cheating on me while I slept. My Therapist suggest telling him I thought he was cheating on me. He couldn't figure out how he would. so naturally I flipped when he said that he had to go to his sisters house for couple days. We had a huge argument weather or not he was going to bring Our son. He didn't want my paranoia to get Worse while being alone, I didn't want him cheating. So we agreed I keep the dog and he takes our son. He was able to come home early and his sister vouches for him. This was not before I freaked out a friend by explaining all the was he could have been cheating on me. Luckily she has more faith in my husband than I did and had me take a kolodipin before I got to carried away .