[UCLAFan]

Why do some people get satsifaction on picking on people? Every now and then people act like bullies towards me. Some on the net and others in real life.Some have told me.Folks that act that way don't feel good about themselves. But that don't make me feel any better.The majority of the time i struggle with feeling good about myself. But i would never bully anyone. I guess i don't do it. Because it has happend to me and i know it can hurt.Half my self esteem is messed up because my family and others calling me names growing up.Yesterday at my Counseling session i had to read a letter to my mom. One i would not send. My T wanted me to write my thoughts down about my relationship with my mom.It was 3 pages long on both sides.I think my T was shocked about the letter i wrote. Because it was my thoughts on my mom's abuse and then her ignoring the fact others in my family where doing the same thing to me. My mom and others in my family in a way have been bullies.I know my mom is not a happy person. I'm not happy all time either. But when i'm really down. I tend to be a loner at the time or turn on my ipod and ignore people.So i don't be a downer or be moody towards others.Sorry i have started so many threads lately. But i have had a lot of my mind lately.Another thing my T said about the jerk i'm still attracted to. That i should not go there. That i'm better than him and strong enough to not get involved with him.She told me it is natural to be attratced to the opposite sex. But that do's not mean the person you are attracted to is a good person.

[Direction]

I agree with the last statement two sentences...regarding the bullying is it some one outright trying to hurt you are is it someone who has know idea they are hurting or bossing you around?

[UCLAFan]

Just annoying folks on the net and people who they think they know more about stuff because i'm female.

[beelieving]

Hi UCLAFan,

Bulling is one of my button pushers. For whatever it’s worth, I’ve heard bullies explain their behavior in a few ways. Many bullies will respond to one’s hurt feelings with something like “****! Can’t you take a joke?” I’ve been told that people who do this know what they’re doing and by discounting another’s feelings with mockery or joking, it’s flat out verbal abuse and an escape from any guilt they’re having. Then I’ve heard bullies say how badly they’ve been hurt and bullying is their sense of strength and somewhat of their retaliation against their own victimizer. And the last one I’ve heard is when someone consciously or unconsciously recognizes a part of themself that they don’t like, within another individual. They’ll pick on that person out of their own self-hatred. All sad cases, but I don’t think any excuse for bullying should be accepted or tolerated especially in adults. Kids need guidance but adults need to drop the ego.

I wish you well UCLAFan. Take care. ~ Bee

P.S. Sounds like great work on the therapeutic letter to your mom. One of these days I’d like to write a 3pager like you have. Hard work, but great steps.

[UCLAFan]

My family as been bullies to. Plus i can't really count on them.It was really hard to write that letter.Then i had to read it out loud to my T. My T called my mom evil.

[meander]

((((((UCLAFan)))))))

No advice, sorry, just wanted you to know I'm listening and sending sympathy

[UCLAFan]

Thanks Meander