No friends or social life - I feel very lonely

I´m 35 years old, I live by myself and have no friends I can meet up with. I have a couple of friends far away in other cities whom I have contact with by e-mail but I have no friends where I live.

I´ve had a few friends but since my closest friend got a child I have no contact with her. I´ve tried to stay in contact but she´s always busy taking care of her child and she doesn´t make any effort to getting us to spend time together.

I´ve tried forums and such and I´ve searched for friends for a long time but haven´t found any stable relationships with people with the similar values around friendship.

I currently see a T and I hope that will solve a bit of my loneliness as it affects my whole life. I mostly sit at home, I study at the moment but when I try to read and learn things it all feel meaningless and hard as I have no social network.

My family lives far away and I want real friends, not just having mum or dad around. I know I could get into activities and such but I´ve already tried and it seems very hard to get to know people in my age.

I don´t have children or family of my own and I wish there were others to see just for a dinner or a movie, who could easily decide to meet.

Anyone else sharing this?

Dear Sarah,
I share most of what you describe. I am old enough to be your mother, but I didn't have children so I could take you on! Seriously, though, I have the same situation as you when it comes to having no friends. I left my excellent career and stable home in one state and came to another to raise my sister's orphaned children and for a time I was on good terms with some of the parents and teachers. Well, those kids have grown up and moved thousands of miles away and in the meantime I have become physically disabled, very sick, and terribly messed up in the head. I have so many diagnoses I won't bother listing them but tell you that they prohibit me from working so I don't have the benefit of having even acquaintances from work. I do not participate in religion so I have no connection with a church or congregants. I'm wondering if you have that option: Do you feel inclined to go to church and join maybe a small group of some kind? I have met some women from the local library by joining a book club but that meets in the middle of the day so I suppose you are working at that time. Another good way of meeting people is by volunteering. I happen to love, love, dogs, so I volunteer at the animal shelter and take the dogs out, one at a time, into a field and it fills my heart with a child like happiness, as I had when I was a girl, just playing with them. And I know the dogs love it too. I used to volunteer at the Veteran's Hospital. Mostly I wrote letters for those who can no longer write, or read to them. They just appreciated female company, I suppose. I could only do these volunteer stints on my own time as I cannot commit to when I will feel like going. I never know from one sleep to another, how I will feel.
These are just a couple of ideas. I, too, have struggled with trying to find friends. If one doesn't go to church, have children, or have a job, where does one meet potential friends? I do not know.
Getting out of the house, to volunteer anywhere is a good idea, I think. It keeps you focused on others and their needs rather on your sadness. I wish you the best of everything.