[oceansoftime]

I am almost 50 and I have never had more stress and problems in my life than I do now. There is so much I do not know where to start.

I have 4 children and 2 granddaughters. I've been with my partner for 20 yrs.

My son is barely making it by with his gf and baby. I have twin 16yr old girls that I don't have any major issues.

Possible trigger:

My daughter who is 25 decided to get with a guy who has mentally and physically has abused her. This guy I hate with my entire core. He didn't even show up when my daughter had their child.

My mom told my daughter that if she went back with him she would never speak to her again. She went back and my mom left everyone in our family. I have not spoken to my mom in over 2 yrs.

My daughter has all sorts of mental health issues and he does as well. Him and a former gf were investigated when they were accused of locking their kids on the closet and go to the bar. I can't even imagine my daughter getting involved with someone like that in the first place.

Not too long ago, my daughter was visiting and she had a breakdown and we needed to call the police. While the police where here, they told me that last year they were called to their place 22 times in a year for fighting between them.

A month ago the Children's Aid Society called and they were at their house and they did an unexpected visit and they were in an all out fight in front of my granddaughter (she's 2). They said that if we didn't take her into our care she would go to foster care.

Well there was no question.

My granddaughter may have issues herself. She is not a typical 2 yr old and I've dealt with a lot of toddlers. She will not listen at all.

Possible trigger:

She violent to us and our pets. She has gone and broken things after repeatedly telling her not to touch. She will scream swear words and just overall disobedient.

She will walk over to a lamp and knock it down, 20 times a day with multi time outs. Or I will have laundry folded on the table and she will run up to the table and knock it off on the floor.

As much as I love and adore my granddaughter I'm not sure how I can take this any longer. We all take shifts looking after her because no one has the patience to be with her for hrs at a time. And we do understand she has had no discipline or guidance and has probably seen a lot of fighting but I just don't know how to get her to listen.

And then there is my partner...

Possible trigger:

We have been together 20yrs and he is a bully. He is the text book example of a bully. He comes on to females all the time and compliments them, never any kind words for me. I recently lost 55 pds and he didn't even look up from his phone, just grunted "yeah" when I told him.

I saw recent texts from him to a long time male friend of his and they started talking sexual to each other. My partner told him he has always been attracted to men and the friend said he was always attracted to him. They exchanged explicited pictures to each other.

I've done the wrong thing and waited until the kids where older. This relationship should have ended a long time ago but I just wanted to keep going until all the kids left. I was planning on leaving after everyone left and got settled. Now what can I do now? I have my granddaughter to raise now as they are uncertain as to when she can go back and quite frankly I do not think my daughter could handle taking care of her 24 hrs a day. I have patience but she is very trying.

And 6mths ago I watched my dad take his last breath.

What do I do? It hurts to breath.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[oceansoftime]

And physically I'm feeling the stress, like I said above it hurts to breath. My energy has crashed, I'm in a depression. I'm also angry at my daughter but then I feel so sorry for her and I know she loves her daughter. I can't concentrate at my job.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[divine1966]

I am so very sorry. It sounds so tough. Are there any resources like state agency of sorts to help you with this child? And can you get away from your partner? I am so sorry. I don't know how to help. I am here for you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oceans of time, Get to a Co-Dependent meeting. read the book CoDependent No more by Melody Beattie. Get into counseling immediately, your health depends upon it. You are not responsible for your daughter or your grand daughters life. you do not have to put up with it, the grand daughter. You do not have to stay with your partner when he is unfaithful to you and makes you feel rejected cause he is bisexual. You deserve better than this. you do not have to live your life for others to use you as a door mat and step all over you. if you can leave your partner do so. and put a hold on your granddaughter being with you. you need to take care of yourself by getting rid of the stress in your life which is them for the time being. You need to live in a place where you feel safe, physically, emotionally, mentally. And the sooner the better. you don't need to stroke out over of all this. you have the power to change what is right for you not for others. i will pray for you to have the strength and courage to move on. tc and blessings