[nine moons]

i have been with my partner for two years and i have no problems with keeping old letters, photos, etc..but recently i stumbled upon a letter he keeps in his top drawer from a woman he dated. normally i wouldn't bother to be nosey, but this person has been quite a thorn in our sides these past couple years..maybe more mine than his?
i get the keeping of letters, i am having a hard time understanding why in his top drawer,? that had to have been put there within a year(first time i looked, but he switched dressers about a year ago)
she was miserable to both of us., hates me with a passion, so why hold onto something so negative, so close?
anyone?

Maybe he's remembering happier times with her that he knows are never going to return. He's with you now. The person she used to be is gone. The person she was is never going to return to him. But, perhaps there used to be some happiness there. If I did what he's doing, I would be doing it to hold onto a cherished memory of something, perhaps to stop me from hating her, perhaps to prove to myself it WAS (not is) real.

I don't think it's about you in any way. In other words, he still remembers when their relationship was good. I have no doubt he knows that's not the case now. I also don't think it means anything more than that.

And I'm not sure it's even worth talking to him about.

[divine1966]

If you two live together it's ok to ask why is it in his top drawer? See what he says.

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[Melodysmooth]

There is no way to go around it other than to just ask him why it's there, and if there's something affecting him. I'll be honest, If I were in your shoes I would feel uncomfortable, because I would try and find out the 'why's', but maybe there's something to understand that's there once he tells you his reasons.

My partner once would always mention this one girl in his past, they were best friends who dated and that ruin their friendship. He regrets the way they stopped talking, they just drifted apart, and after the years he wanted closure. That was understandable to me. They finally contact each other online and via phone, showed me the convo and that was the end of it from there. Now he felt relief because he 'properly' ended that chapter with her.

Maybe, your partner needs to end that chapter with her for good, maybe there's something there he never asked/said to her or if he's still holding on to it mentally? That doesn't necessarily means to throw the letter away, but like you said keeping it on top of his drawer is sort of like a constant reminder there not only for him to see, but for you as well. Maybe he needs some sort of closure but doesn't know how.