[theyellowsubmarine]

This is typical of everyone in society.

My friend thinks it's simple to get out of depression, and that medication is never recommended and should be avoided. Likewise, my older brother too who frustrates me as he relentlessly push me telling me what to do. Annoying right? No matter what I tell him he says to go outside, wake up early, get a job, exercise for so many times...even for a normal person, doesn't it frustrate them if someone keeps giving them advice, telling them what to do when they don't seek for it?

My friend is a lot smarter and has some understanding of mental illness. But I think both doesn't see the types of depression. Both of them think every depression are the same whom can be solved with CBT/one thing. My brother has been stubborn even when I told him this, sticking to his stupid believes. He doesn't even care if I have severe depression or if I'm feeling suicidal.

My friend said if he had depression, he would never choose medication cause the side effects are worse. I tried to tell him that there are worse types that can't deal with just CBT. That if CBT doesn't work then medication is last resort. I can understand my friend however, because when I was hit with depression for the first time, I never wanted medication, thought the same way, and tried in every way to try to get better with CBT.

I feel like I need to teach my friend the next time he brings up this topic. But should I just ignore it or help him understand? Cause of that saying only give advice when they ask for it. Maybe he'll appreciate mental more if I really throw in all the experiences I have had. Stigma is not a problem, says him. Don't feel like I should fully trust into his response to me asking on stigma, which is what I'm worried about if I confess.

I'm planning to make him appreciate it more (if he ask), I'll tell I'm how I felt really suicidal and started planning how, wrote a will, and letters to everyone including him (This really happened). And I'll read out what I said in the letter.
Also, what about everyone in my family? They have no appreciation of mental illness. My ignorant cousin thinks people like us are crazy people, my brother thinks his roommate who committed suicide is stupid and crazy, bro keeps on telling me to do things, another cousin is such a stuck up because I'm slow and have speech delay when depress, it goes on... I feel tired of trying to tell everyone. It's like only the people who study psychology but major in mental illness, psychiatry, or people in that department can understand. Out of this department, mental illness is stigmatised.

So what should I do? Leave it alone?

[eskielover]

With some people their mind is so programmed with the way they think it doesn't matter what they are told it won't change their thinking. Trying to get them to understand is like . Ends up not being worth our effort & only makes us more angry at them.

My dad & my x-h were that way & just had to accept this was how they were..but also I kept my distance because of the frustration they created & anxiety in my. Thus why he is now my x also.

Most of the time it's not worth the effort or thr frustration. Spend time talking & expressing to people open to hearing & LEARNING.

[RichardBrooks]

I wonder when this misconception of mental health will end, or at least not be so pervasive. True, medication is only part of a whole treatment regimen, but telling people to avoid it at all costs is right up there with those lunatics who refuse to vaccinate their kids.

It may help to point out to these people that the brain is not just some made up thing. It is an organ. Not only is it the one that uses the most energy, it's also the one that controls all the others. Mental health is physical health. If you had a broken bone, you would need a cast, antibiotics, and painkillers. If your heart, kidneys, or lungs were not functioning properly, would they take that seriously? Or just tell you to exercise, sleep regular hours, and get enough sunlight?

[Crazy Hitch]

I've encountered a few people in my life who think I can just *snap* myself out of depression ... and then those who believe meds don't have a place etc. Difficult working around such deep rooted thoughts, especially if you were wanting them to be a support system.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Over my lifetime, i have gotten prob every ignorant, insulting statements and steroetype thrown at me..mostly by those closest. I hurts. But there is another side too. MI like any other illness affects our loved ones as well. And generally, with the exception of inconsiderate aholes( we all know a few ), these ppl love you and dont mean to be flipant or hurtful... they see your suffering and feel helpless. Your friend and ur brother, imo, are truly trying to help and they only know how to do that from their own POV. Have you tried sitting down with them and calmly discussing that while you are grateful for and apporieciate their support, you sometimes just need someone to listen to you. Their are a lot of great article about psychedu for supporting a loved one. Maybe print out some info and or write down some kind suggestions that you feel would be more helpful support to you. Hope you start feeling better soon

I'm sorry to read you're encountering unhelpful attitudes on top of the depression you're feeling, I have experienced a little of that attitude myself before - and like 'lost in the woods' says, in my case they really did care about me but were feeling helpless. It might be the case with the people in your life, or at least some of them anyway.

One thing I've learned is that people really don't like feeling helpless, especially about people they care about and it can make them act in weird ways. Couple that with some half-baked knowledge and before you know it they're telling it like it is, or so they believe it to be so anyway.

Of course as we know depression is different for everyone, there is no easy one size fits all answer - if only that were true. There are as many different ways out of depression as there were ways into it.

Sure, I think it's good you want to explain to them about your experience, and LITW's suggestion of providing them with some reputable info for them to take away and read may be a good start, some mental health charities provide info sheets on their websites especially for friends and family members.

Take care and all my best wishes to you