[lovethesun]

I have a former friend (now I'd just refer to her as an aquaintance) who I still see on a regular basis. I believe this person has major self esteem and jealousy issues. I had a pretty big falling out with this person where neither one of us gave any ground. For every veiled insult she threw at me, I threw one back and I never apologized to her. We agreed to disagree and did not speak for 8 months. We've since started waving to each other when we see each other and are cordial when we speak even complimenting each other once in a while. On the surface it would appear that the hatchet has been buried, but I just can't shake the feeling that if I fell off a bridge or my house burned down, she'd have a smile on her face as wide as a football field and her cheers would be heard all the way in China. It's stressful because I feel like I have to be extra perfect and careful about things around her so I don't give her any mishap to cheer about. No matter how much I try to just be positive and forget the past, I can't get past the intense negative energy that still lingers around this person.

Originally Posted by lovethesun

I have a former friend (now I'd just refer to her as an aquaintance) who I still see on a regular basis. I believe this person has major self esteem and jealousy issues. I had a pretty big falling out with this person where neither one of us gave any ground. For every veiled insult she threw at me, I threw one back and I never apologized to her. We agreed to disagree and did not speak for 8 months. We've since started waving to each other when we see each other and are cordial when we speak even complimenting each other once in a while. On the surface it would appear that the hatchet has been buried, but I just can't shake the feeling that if I fell off a bridge or my house burned down, she'd have a smile on her face as wide as a football field and her cheers would be heard all the way in China. It's stressful because I feel like I have to be extra perfect and careful about things around her so I don't give her any mishap to cheer about. No matter how much I try to just be positive and forget the past, I can't get past the intense negative energy that still lingers around this person.

I have someone I work with who is like that. She and I were pretty good friends (well, work friends, but in my line of work those are good friends indeed) but had a major falling out on the job. She kind of lost her shyt with me. I was at fault as well, but while I asked her to come speak to me in private, she screamed at me in the hallway, in front of patient rooms. It was embarrassing and unprofessional. Now, we are cordial to one another, and even have small conversations with one another. We'll able to get along professionally, but it's tense, and I definitely feel a wall up with her that I know will always be there. It's unfortunate, but sometimes it's just the way it is and you can never get rid of that negative energy. Being cordial is probably the best you can hope for at this time.

[eskielover]

Sometimes social friendships that have a falling out can be like a marriage that ends in divorce. Some divorces can end to being cordial to each other in social situations & get along in spite of the marriage being unsuccessful. It doesn't mean that you would ever get married to them again or what happened to cause the marriage to fail didn't happen or ever really goes from the memory....but it doesn't mean that we can't be cordial to them when out in social situations....but it doesn't mean we will ever have a close friendship like it was either. Being cordial & acknowledging someone doesn't imply that the relationship will ever be more than keeping it at the acquaintance level....sometimes the safest after a friendship blow up.

[Bill3]

What do you hope will happen next in the relationship? What is your vision for it?

[lovethesun]

Originally Posted by Bill3

What do you hope will happen next in the relationship? What is your vision for it?

To be honest, I wish I did not have to talk to her or ever see her again. Everything that comes out of her mouth is either a lie or a trap to gain information. She's just one of those people that always has some sort of hidden agenda. I can't stand people like that. The kind of person where you have to be very careful at all times about what you tell them. I'm once bitten twice shy with this woman. So keeping it cordial and only talking about the weather will be my plan of action with her I guess.

[divine1966]

Unless if you live in the same house or work in the same office I don't see why you need to socialize with people you can't stand. Just don't socialize with her . Where do you see her on a regular basis? The only people I see on a regular basis are my colleagues my students and the person I live with. I can't imagine seeing anyone else on a regular basis unless it's arranged meeting

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[lovethesun]

[QUOTE=divine1966;5069140]Unless if you live in the same house or work in the same office I don't see why you need to socialize with people you can't stand. Just don't socialize with her . Where do you see her on a regular basis? The only people I see on a regular basis are my colleagues my students and the person I live with. I can't imagine seeing anyone else on a regular basis unless it's arranged meeting

I live next to her and she's always out and in everyone's business.

[divine1966]

She needs to get a life. Who has the time for neighbors. I barely ever see my neighbours. Just ignore her

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[Bill3]

Given that you live next door to her, I expect that you see her a lot. What sort of reaction wells up inside upon simply seeing her?