[Only_Human1983]

For as long as I can remember I have always dreamed of becoming a mother one day and having a family of my own, similar to the great family I grew up in. However, at the age of 32 (33 in a few weeks) and no man insight, those dreams are rapidly slipping away from me and I'm all to aware of my ticking biological clock.
I'm gradually watching all my friends get married and start their own family's and it's impossible to say that I don't feel a pang of sadness inside, Every time I hear their news. Of course I am thrilled for them and wouldn't wish them anything but happiness, but it leaves me questioning what's so wrong with me? and what my future holds....

Anyway, a few people started to say that I want a child then I don't need a man and I could do it alone and use a donor. I know this is a very personal question and every id will have their own opinion, but I just wondered what people's views on it are...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[divine1966]

I'd go for single adoption.

But then again you might want to wait few years. A lady at work had her first one at 38 and now is pregnant again at 41.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[shezbut]

I can understand your desire to have a baby. That is a very basic, intense physiological desire that almost all beings on Earth have. Some carry this desire more strongly than others, but we all have it.

In my personal opinion, having a partner to share the experience with is just as important. I know that I wouldn't have the ability and strength needed to have a child (or children) on my own. But, if you have a healthy, kind, and supportive family relatively nearby ~ go for it. It's also important that you can financially and emotionally afford to take this step. It is a big one!

Just my two cents... Best of luck to you!

[Nimportequoi]

As for my opinion, I think making the decision to become a parent is a great thing, no matter wether it being in a relationship or not. I also appreciate those who have children bc they are keeping our society alive and thriving (does this sound archaical? Don't know...)
I also know someone who so-to-say accidently became mother at age 41... she considered abortion due to fear the baby would be disabled. It wasn't.
But, for the waiting thing, even if you'd happen to find the fish in the sea, it is only reasonable to wait a few years to be sure you really fit together, and then there is the question wether your partner wants a baby too....
I think advicing you "to wait" (in the hope to find a "daddy"?) is implying that one can't be a mother on one's own, and I simply think that's not true. I think that having a single mother who gives you all the love you need and supports you and stuff is better than having a dysfunctional family.... I grew up in a classical family and it was very damaging for me. I think if I had had a single mother who in contrast to both of my parents had given me what I needed as a child (emotionally), I would have ended up better.
So... you're getting my point. I don't think that having two parents is a key- or even necessary component of a happy childhood.

But, if you have a healthy, kind, and supportive family relatively nearby ~ go for it. It's also important that you can financially and emotionally afford to take this step. It is a big one!

I also agree with shezbut on that you should think about your emotional and practical ressources for deciding wether to have a child or not. But this ressources don't have to come in shape of a partner.... just adding my opinion. I hope it brought on some good ideas!

[healingme4me]

I agree with all the suggestions.

Have you had opportunity to look into this further? i.e., contact places?

It's something a friend from college and I tossed around in the terms of not needing a man if ever so desired children. Neither of us did. I went onto marry, have children then wound up divorced and am a single mom. She wound up playing a huge role as a very involved aunt.

It's still an option, in my opinion for women. Of course I'm at a stage in life where I would be desiring knowing as much about the overall health, physical and psychological, of the donor.

[Only_Human1983]

Thank you for all your replies.

I have done a fair bit of research but not seriously looked into it, as I still live in hope of finding that special someone. However, it is something I would seriously consider if I get to 40 and I'm still childless.

I just don't know if I could bring a person into the world for my own selfish reasons. I have read many articles where children that are a result of a sperm donor have grown up to resent the way they were conceived and they came from a Petri dish and so very clinical. Not knowing your father (even though you have the right to contact them at 16 in the uk) and being so different from all the other children would surely effect him/her??

I have a very close and supportive family but I don't think my mum would approve at all. She is very old fashioned and worries about the fact that you do not really kniw (apart from the basics such as ethnic group, nationality, age, height, eye colour etc) what this person is like and could have an aggressive nature etc. I do agree with her in some ways and it would worry me.

I think in my heart, I always dreamed of a family or at least to have conceived a child with someone I love/loved, even if it didn't work out, knowing that person and hopefully them always wanting to be part of my/our child's life is the only way I would want it. I think I know deep down in my heart that being a donor mum is not for me, I just don't want to have the choice taken away from me. It's not a decision to be made lightly. I guess it just hurts to accept that I probably will not ever be a mum the way I had hoped.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Bill3]

What is your thinking about adopting a child?