[kaulitzfenty]

I recently made an account on okcupid and have received a lot of messages. I really like a lot of the people that message me and really want to talk to them but can't. For some reason I just CAN NOT message people back sometimes. I can say hi or how are you but then I'm stuck. Sometimes I am in a certain mood where we can talk some but then I just can't do it anymore.

I'm the same with my friends even, I will go offline on facebook messenger, mute people, ignore messages because I feel like I can not reply? I can not communicate. It's not even that I'm really scared feeling, I just don't know? It's like I can't think of what to reply to them and still sound normal.

I used to not be like this. Now I can't talk to people in real life and can't do it online either.

Any tips for talking online?

You don't have to respond to messages immediately. Take your time and respond after thinking what to say.

@The O.P, I used to be a lot more anxious around everyone too. The only difference is that I felt free to express myself online since I could always ignore people that I didn't want to talk to block them from mean comments, harassing me, etc...

Anyways, there are lots of sites on here that offer great advice on how to talk to people online, on dating sites, and in person. Look them up. Youtube has lots of good channels for that. Also, there are a lot of self help books out there. They helped me out a lot.

Just keep things short and sweet. If you think a woman is pretty, tell her that you think that she's pretty and that you like her profile. Look for things that you have in common with the other person. If they like movies for example, talk about movies and ask them more about what movies or music they like.

Most people love to talk about themselves, so asking them about stuff that's not personal at first can help break the ice. Definitely avoid talking about anything to deep, religion, sex, and politics until you really get to know them! Oh, and if they have a pic of their pet in their profile, ask about their pets or kids if they're a single mom.

I can't think of anyone who won't talk about what they love! If they respond back to you, great, if not, move on and never send more than one message at a time as sending more than one PM at once might make you look desperate. And never talk about yourself to much. That is a real turn off.

I hope that I was able to help you out a bit. Remember, compliment, find some common ground, and ask them questions about what they like. You WILL get some responses after doing this! And watch your spelling and grammar too. That makes a difference as well. Don't complain about anything at first. Be positive and lighthearted. One more thing, don't over use emoticons. Direct communication is better.

[brimajo93]

I agree with the most recent poster. Just ask questions! It's the easiest way to get them talking and see whether they bring something up that you can latch on to. Even a vague "why don't you tell me a bit about yourself?" Will get a person talking. I did the online dating thing, and honestly, the people who were really suave creeped me out. It was the ones who were kind of awkward and a little bumbling and didn't know quite what to say that I wanted to meet and really liked. It showed me that they were real people who actually wanted to meet someone and were interested in more than a hook-up. Just stick to questions if you're not sure what to say, then offer a genuine comment to their answers. Something simple like, "Oh, you like soccer? There are some great parks near here." or whatever. Good luck! Also, if it would help, feel free to send me a message on here if you want to practice conversationaling! (Is that even a word?) Then you can get some practice in, ease your nerves, and there's no pressure because it's not someone you're looking at as a prospective date.

[Melodysmooth]

I find it a lot easier to communicate online than in person because it gives me time to think about what I am going to say, also there's no eye contact which helps.
Try having a conversation about something you know you're interested in, for example if there's a show or movie you really like then that should lead to a conversation. I feel that when I am discussing something I'm interested in I can go on and on.

I find it difficult to communicate with people in person, I've spent a lot of time alone or with people I know so when it comes to having a conversation outside my comfort zone and being social at times I am a little shy or lack eye contact, but I notice the more I do it the better it gets. Try talking in online forums such as these, it's not necessarily direct contact but it helps communicate. Then work your way to one on one contact with someone in particular, and so on.

Don't pressure yourself, it's okay to keep it short if necessary. Practice it often and I am sure within time you'll find that it will become easier.