Group Dyanamics vs me and her

Don't know if this is the right group or not, but I'll give it a try here.

When working in a group of people do you ever notice there are a few people who clash?

I know there is at least one person who seems to push my buttons a lot. I know the others notice it too. What is the best way to 'react' or better yet prepare myself for the next time it happens.

When I say something this person will reject what I say and sometimes it seems to be just for the sake of trying to shove it down my throat sort of behavior. I know this person has bipolar, is on medication. Is that part of it between us.

We are a friendly group of people doing community work and I am feeling so tired of trying to present my ideas or 'facts' that are science based only to have her react against me.

How do you work with difficult people? I know I have an alpha personality and don't want to be seen as the problem.

Thanks for your suggestions.

Maybe she's an Alpha personality too and that's why you're clashing.


I've noticed that when certain people are very alike, they tend to butt heads.


I doubt its got anything to do with her bipolar, I have bipolar, and when I'm in an agitated mood state, everyone is bloody annoying, just for breathing audibly, not one person in particular.


How do you deal?


I usually just ask people if they have a problem with me, and to state what it is clearly so we can address it and move forward.


Works the same way with me, I will be honest and tell someone else (especially a coworker or people I can't avoid like inlaws) that I can't stand so and so about them.


But that's just me, I like clarity.

to be honest, I have yet to find a group of people where there AREN'T a few people who clash.

"..this person is bipolar..." has nothing whatsoever to do with being a terrible person to others. That is not at all an excuse for bad behavior. She's like what they would call a "troll" on the web. Trolls are people who go on forums and make statements either at the group or individuals for the sheer purpose to get a rise out of them and start something. I don't entirely understand the behavior either on the internet or real life but don't take it personally, it's an issue with the other person. Once you figure that out and take it to heart that's a first step to handling it better. "do not feed the trolls" as they say on the web.

Being prepared is in part your understanding and expectation of what she will do or say. Knowing this, you can try to remember what I've said above, that it's really not about YOU it's an attention seeking behavior and you just happen to be the target of choice, does not mean anything about you, just that something about you is attractive to them for targeting.

If you are a group of people, then her opinions and thoughts (if they really are her thoughts and not just "trolling" you...) are hers and hers alone. Don't worry about her response or opinions but purposefully direct your responses to others and let her spout off at the wall. Make a point of only responding to people who are clearly listening and thinking.. considering your comments. The more you follow only productive lines of communication the more she will figure out that you're not biting any more.

I'm not sure what or if an "alpha" personality matters here. I don't know what it really means as I don't really place labels as such to anyone that way but it doesn't matter if you are or not, this is about the other person's bad behavior not yours, there doesn't sound like there is anything that you need to chance in your interactions at this point

Hope this helps some.

My experience with people like this is they want the drama. They live for the drama. This means nothing you do is going to change anything. The ONLY thing you can control is your reaction. The other thing you can control is your participation.

Visualise her moving onto something better. Wish for her to find something else so amazing for her, that she chooses to move on. You will find peace in her absence from the group. I did this with regard to my boyfriend's roommate. A few months later the roommate moved out. I've been married to my husband for thirty years now. I'm sorry, but I don't see another solution, as difficult people plant themselves there to create drama.