[tiredsoul333]

So...I read the definition of narcissist mothers, and good God mine hits ALL the points, & then some. I'm also convinced she is bi-polar because she will routinely switch from one mood to another in a fraction of a second. I haven't lived with her since I was 19, but unfortunately my little sister has special needs and she does. She does come to spend a few weeks at my house - either for girl time or when my mother has decided she has "had enough"- either way I don't care, & if I could, I'd have my sister with me permanently. I can provide a much more stable home, but legalities yada yada....

Let me explain the special needs though- she has physical & mental/verbal development issues - she looks & thinks more like a 12 year old, but she is physically fine and able to do everything. She does need supervision (problems judging right from wrong/gets led astray easily etc), it's like having a tweenie around constantly. My brother & I try to live with mom's mood swings & keep the peace, partly for our own peace of mind, & partly because we don't want to aggravate her into taking it out on our little sister.

Here is my latest problem,I apologise if I'm rambling,I'm very upset :
My boyfriend & my brother & his girlfriend have planned a camping trip for this weekend, & I haven't had a holiday with my siblings for goodness knows how long. Naturally, we want to take our sister with, since she is stuck at home & never goes anywhere, & we thought a sibling bonding trip would be great. This was planned a week ago. We are due to leave Saturday and come back on Monday (it's a long weekend where I am).

This morning I get a text from my mom saying my sister can't make it because she is "going off on a training course for 2 days in (nearby country)". Now, my sister has a job at the school where my mom works as a teacher's aid for kindergarten kids. I know a lot of people there. The training thing is ********. I also happen to know that my sister does not have the documents required to go to (nearby country).
This is classic mom bull. Elaborate lies about totally random crap. She just had a mood swing & wants attention & is punishing my sister for it, & trying to get at me. I hate her for that, hate her for not caring who she hurts while trying to hurt someone else.

I suspect it is aimed at me because she had an argument with ex-hubby (my dad), and was forwarding me all the "nasty messages" he was sending her, & I said I didn't want to be involved. This was a week ago, but her spitefulness has no concept of time & will rear its head when it feels the need (she will bring up things that I did as a teen in arguments).

Anyway - I replied by text saying it was strange how this came out of the blue. That was 2 hours ago - still no reply. I have called her bluff. My problem is "what now?". I don't want my sister (whom mom uses as a crutch) to be penalized for a selfish woman's tantrums,but I don't want to aggravate mom into then taking it out on her. Part of me wants to go pick up my sister on Friday as planned, but mom is fully capable of either not letting me in, or causing a violent scene, or calling the cops on me for kidnapping (she has legal custody).

She knows full well that a quick holiday for me is something that happens VERY rarely because of work & I will not have the opportunity to take my sister with again for a long time. It's all so petty.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? The poor child has enough to deal with already, she needs an outing for social stimulation & so she can feel she's also normal & can have fun with us. I'm so upset by this I can't concentrate at work!!