Feeling abandoned by therapist

I can't get help I was blown off by my therapist. I really feel screwed over.

I'm so angry how much I was ignored and mistreated by being misunderstood that I have a rare neuro condition and that I never had any of issues addressed rather brushed aside for treatments of meds and other doctors.

Like I'm so fed up, I shouldn't have to pay a therapist to be as much help as a random stranger down the street. I find highly offensive and insulting to my intelligence.

I'm so angry how people just don't care. They did this to me all my life with the system.

I can't even enjoy being friends with people or have relationships, and my friends know I can get way too emotional at times, beacuse I easily get overwhelmed because I don't get the help I need. Since when I do go see my therapists or pay for my appointments. I get ignored all my needs ignored for pills or more treatments. It's so impersonal and constricting.

It's like they want me to be an addict to my own misery to be forever not be happy so they can reap and sow off me.

It's so ****ed up. I'm always around the people who don't care once they have me replaced or I'm not doing a certain thing with anymore or I'm not happy all the time to their unrealistic expectations. I feel so constricted.

I can't go to a therapist who actually listens to my needs or cares what I have to say and has a solid basis of understanding, because that never existed for as long as I've been in therapy since I was 6 years old. Like no one gave a damn about me ever they made it clear.

I have self esteem issues, because of the maltreatment I received by the people I depended on for my mental health and physical safety and all the adults who have failed me that I had only me to fend for. I had to throw away being a kid to survive and that's not fair that I'm not enjoying life like I should now as an adult, because other people took my freedom away.

I don't even care for most things people like or want because I don't want it.

I grew to be addicted to being faded or being in love or receiving affection in the most negative ways, because I'm not receiving if I don't get it even if it's from a very bad person, because I'm constantly treated like I'm nothing.

I either have to be more ****ed up to be paid attention to or be something great and it's ridiculous that people don't know how messed up this place is.

That's just not fair

Dear Yis, I have tears in my eyes. I am feeling so sad for you. I know you may not like this, but you pointed out the fact that you have self esteem issues, that you are insecure. I really want you to think about that when you are assuming that others don't like you or that they think you are nothing.
Your self esteem issues are the main issue from my point of view. Not believing in yourself, not believing that you are wonderful, that you are special and smart and good looking, etc can make you feel like nothing.
Yis, you need to start realizing how wonderful, how important, how special you are. AND...Believe it! Because if you don't, no one in your life will!!!
Basically that is the way we all work. We meet someone who thinks they are worthless and we believe it! That person could be someone I want to know, but of their attitude tells me they are bad, or mean, stupid etc. why would I want to hang with them. So Yis, please start holding your head high. Anyone who thinks less of you is not worth your time!!!! Good luck to you