Achilles heel?

Sometimes we tolerate their crap until there is no more room left. Taking time for yourself through the separation & even after divorce is important rather than trying to find someone immediately to fill that hole your H never could. It's important to take time to beable to define yourself without that definition being tied to someone else. Only then are we truly strong enough to invite someone else into our life.

Best wishes with your separation....stay strong.

Lol!

I am prepared to never be with a man again. Traumatized!

I know what you mean. I lived 13 years just under the same roof before I could get out. I've been gone for 9 & haven't looked back once & never once have regretted leaving. I finally found peace in my life & I'm so surprised at the person I really am without all that crap around me. I was hating ME before I left.......now I'm loving life, the people around me, & I don't feel like the horrible person I was before I finally did get out.

It's sad when we look back at those wasted years but I realize that I wouldn't be where I am today & enjoying my life that I now have if I hadn't gone through all that & LEARNED something from it. It was all part of life's path.

I am sure that if for some reason a really nice guy did come along in my life that they would probably have an impossible time convincing me to ever get married or have any kind of serious relationship with them.....but there are times it would be nice.

Honestly I have wonderful friends that are guys if I do need help though sometimes I have to chuckle at them also. I had a leak in the hose running to my master bathroom toilet from out of the wall. I shut off the water when I realized what was happening, but there was NO WAY I could get the hose loose from the toilet. I called for help. 3 guys from my church came over to help. It took all 3 of them to finally get it unfastened so I could replace the hose. I didn't feel so bad about myself after that.

I do a lot of bartering with farm setting in return for work around my farm. It world wonderfully because some of the work even though I'm capable of doing it is just more physical work than I'm able to do with my chain saw. I have learned to work on my own truck for repairs that are within my ability (changed my own EGR Valve) & I do my own lawn tractor repair when it's within my ability also like changing filters & oil & even replacing blades & belts.

I honestly love being independent.....but in reality, I was doing everything around my marriage anyway because he wasn't capable or I was fighting him about getting things done. It's much easier depending on JUST myself....either I do it or I don't & it gets done when I get to it though things pile up more than I would like.

ALONE is good!!!!!! but it's nice to have friends to interface with & socialize with, something I never did when I was married because my H was not a social person. We had NO FRIENDS just like my parents had none. Only friends we had were acquaintances I knew. It was sad to think of him as such a NOTHING part of the marriage but sadly that summarizes it. It's only been 2 years ago when I was finally able to sort through why so that helped me a lot also to understand.

You are my inspiration, Eskie!