[dwr3]

I don't want to share any huge story here, just a day to day situations.

Dealing with my narcissistic parents is tough, even if I understand their ways of thinking and where it comes from. I have a special trouble with my mother, who's an alcoholic's daughter. Throughout my life she was no help to me, especially that I needed a lot of it. It was always just about her. She would go through my stuff, respect no boundaries, call me names when I got angry (and since childhood i did a lot), beat me when I was small because she had emotional breakdown. I'm 21 and she'd never stopped sending me very controlling messages whenever I wasn't at home. This way she was always ruining my trips. It was like "Are you there yet?/No? Why?/ It's late already, why aren't you there yet?/ Why aren't you answering?/ What are you doing?/ I don't want you to go there/do that/whatever." For example I wrote to her once because I was on a small yacht in the middle of the lake. "I want you to immadiately get off there. It's dangerous. Don't do that ever again".

She was giving my instructions of how she'd like me to behave all the time. Give me guilt trips.

When I was 11 I told her I think about killing myself and she was just like "but I had a tough life and wasn't as emotional as you" and again when I was 13 and got depressed again "Whatever, to be honest you don't really know what real problems are". She also blackmailed me that she's gonna prove I'm mentally ill because I was taking medicine at that time so I won't leave her.

She once told me I should have some children (I don't want any and won't have them) to "not bo lonely", so that kind of explains her point of view.

For many months she's been deppressive and unhappy, giving me and my father a hate speech, with door slamming, going silent, she hates him for constantly changing his jobs because she has no choice about her job which she keeps for many years. She hates him when he leaves to other country or city to work, but hates him even more when he comes home and has a break with working.

Today we had to drive with her and my father to another city to Ikea, because I decided to renovate my room. So I was planning to go there to get particular furniture for MYSELF. Yet I feel rather unmotivated lately, was very depressed in the morning and didn't feel like it, especally that I'm also physically sick, so I decided that we're not gonna go.

She got angry like it was all about her, told me that I'm mentally ill in a very offensive manner in my language and just kept offending people throughout the day.

[dwr3]

And some time later she just asks me something like it's nothing, and then I remind her of that (not in a mature manner myself) and she goes "oh, nothing can be said to you, stop overreacting" and my father screams at me to shut my damn mouth and stop carrying out my personal problems onto them.

[Skeezyks]

Hello dwr3: Thank you for sharing your struggle. I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I'm old enough now that I no longer have parents living. But I can still recall how it was. I moved away from them eventually. And, once I had, I never looked back. I'm not sorry. As the saying goes... "it gets better..."

[healingme4me]

Hi dwr3,

Welcome to PC.

Sorry to read of your struggles. Has your family been in counseling together, or just yourself?

My dad certainly displays npd while mom was more the style without the full blown disorder, which there's a difference. She seemed more a codep type with the disease to please. So I can sort of relate to having narcissa around.

Hope you find the support that you need. After 5 posts, moderation is released.