[Hedgeleaf]

I have a male friend at work who has a gf. I joked that I was going to the clinic to get some contraceptive pills and he mentioned his gf doesn't take them and they use condoms. I said he can have mine as the always give me
Loads and I don't need them and I know they're expensive etc.

His gf found them in his bag and went mad at him and he jested that I've ruined his relationship

I feel awful that this has happened.

What shall I do?

[winter4me]

I think he can handle this with his gf. He accepted the condoms, he can explain---not sure why she would be so upset since it is a good idea anyway since bcp do not prevent sexually transmitted diseases. (& since they are not likely first to each other, it is like having sex, in an indirect way, with all those who have gone before...& some do not show up right away (eg herpes, hpv...) and some do not cause many symptoms in men (chlamydia....others)

[Maat]

You didn't do anything wrong. Sounds like the gf is just insecure. Not your problem.

[divine1966]

Giving other people your medications is a very wrong thing to do because not every medication works for every person and people might have allergic reaction.

It is equally wrong to take other people's Meds for those same reasons.

Her getting mad he has Meds on him is over the board but if my fiancée brought home Meds some girl gave him and told me its for me, I'd think he lost his mind. I wouldn't be jealous as its not how my he is but I'd think he got dumber or something. He knows better though.

There is nothing you could do but just don't give people your Meds.

I also find it bizarre that this guy shares with you what contraception they use. It is private. Are you s nurse or a doctor? If not what the heck this guy telling you this for? Maybe his gf is upset he discusses their intimate life with female employees. So inappropriate. At work?

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[Maat]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Giving other people your medications is a very wrong thing to do because not every medication works for every person and people might have allergic reaction.

It is equally wrong to take other people's Meds for those same reasons.

Her getting mad he has Meds on him is over the board but if my fiancée brought home Meds some girl gave him and told me its for me, I'd think he lost his mind. I wouldn't be jealous as its not how my he is but I'd think he got dumber or something. He knows better though.

There is nothing you could do but just don't give people your Meds.

I also find it bizarre that this guy shares with you what contraception they use. It is private. Are you s nurse or a doctor? If not what the heck this guy telling you this for? Maybe his gf is upset he discusses their intimate life with female employees. So inappropriate. At work?

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I read it as OP gave her friend condoms, not her meds...xx

[Prism Bunny]

It is not your place to give medication to another female through her partner. She does not know where they came from, who gave it to him, or why he has them. Anyone would be suspicious of that.

Also, giving away medication is dangerous as our chemistry in our bodies respond differently, and if something were to go wrong, you could face some major problems (even legally). Pills and other forms of hormonal based medications need to be monitored by a physician because of the numerous side-effects that can happen.

You did step over the line, but you had good intentions. Just learn from the mistake and apologize. Let him know that you can take responsibility for your actions.

[Hedgeleaf]

For the couple of posters who seem unclear.... I gave them condoms.

[Prism Bunny]

Then all I have to say is that next time you should just ask if he wants the condoms or not. Communication is key in any friendship or relationship.

But still apologize so he knows you can take responsibility.

[Hedgeleaf]

Originally Posted by Prism Bunny

Then all I have to say is that next time you should just ask if he wants the condoms or not. Communication is key in any friendship or relationship.

But still apologize so he knows you can take responsibility.

I did ask

I'm not sure you've read my original post correctly?

[Trippin2.0]

His gf be crazy.


You did nothing wrong, you offered loads of free condoms to someone who could put them to good use, and instead of the gf asking where he got such an awesome stash for them, she lost her damn mind.


Leave it to him to smooth things out with her, you did nothing wrong.


And FTR, these topics have come up in my work places before (male and female convos) and as long as everyone is ok with sharing its not an overshare. You're all adults. (I presume) lmao 😂

[Prism Bunny]

Sorry. I am trying to read the post correctly. My bad.

[TooManyDays]

Yeah, there's no problem here. You didn't cross the line. His girlfriend is being insecure. But does his joke about you ruining his relationship concern you? Maybe there's a mutual attraction and you know there's an element of truth to this?

The fact that this whole thing was initiated by you discussing contraception implies some level of comfort or intimacy. The fact that you're posting about it here seems to indicate it means at least a little something to you.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Hedgeleaf

For the couple of posters who seem unclear.... I gave them condoms.

OMG this is no better than Med. That's so very inappropriate. I misunderstood thinking you gave them Meds maybe because they can't afford it. Can't they buy condoms?. This is just so bizarre. I can't imagine offering my male coworkers condoms. What the heck he took them for? Why and how such topics even start between coworkers? I see how gf was shocked he discusses their sex life.

What was the reasoning behind you telling male Staff members you are going to get contraception? Is there more to the story?

[Bill3]

I feel awful that this has happened.

What feels awful to you?

[Hedgeleaf]

Originally Posted by divine1966

OMG this is no better than Med. That's so very inappropriate. I misunderstood thinking you gave them Meds maybe because they can't afford it. Can't they buy condoms?. This is just so bizarre. I can't imagine offering my male coworkers condoms. What the heck he took them for? Why and how such topics even start between coworkers? I see how gf was shocked he discusses their sex life.

What was the reasoning behind you telling male Staff members you are going to get contraception? Is there more to the story?

I'm not too sure what you're implying by asking if there is more to the story? You seem rather mortified at the though of discussing sex, does the act of sex disgust you?

We are all adults and are friends as well as co workers. Why such a bizarre response about something so natural as sex?

[Hedgeleaf]

Originally Posted by Bill3

What feels awful to you?

That it has potentially done something to their relationship because of something I done

[Hedgeleaf]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

His gf be crazy.


You did nothing wrong, you offered loads of free condoms to someone who could put them to good use, and instead of the gf asking where he got such an awesome stash for them, she lost her damn mind.


Leave it to him to smooth things out with her, you did nothing wrong.


And FTR, these topics have come up in my work places before (male and female convos) and as long as everyone is ok with sharing its not an overshare. You're all adults. (I presume) lmao 😂

This.
Thank you

I'm comfortable talking about sex but I'd never talk to someone who didn't want me to. It's not details just talk. It's not degrading or shaming or humiliating to a partner involved, when I talk about sex it's not all nitty gritty, I do have some respect

Not aiming this at you Tripping lol just feel I need to justify myself :/

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Hedgeleaf

I'm not too sure what you're implying by asking if there is more to the story? You seem rather mortified at the though of discussing sex, does the act of sex disgust you?


We are all adults and are friends as well as co workers. Why such a bizarre response about something so natural as sex?

Why would sex discust me? I love it. With my fiancée of course not with my coworkers. Lol I don't discuss it with male coworkers. It's not appropriate for work environment. Depends of course on what you do for a living. Maybe some job settings allow that. I am rarely not surrounded by youngsters or not have them in some proximity. They don't need to listen to it.

There are plenty of other work environments that wouldn't be comfortable with this. Now of course I have friends with whom I also work. We do things outside of work. Then it is a different story. Were you meeting him outside of work?

If you didn't think you overstepped and it is all good then why did you ask if you overstepped? You asked if you overstepped and I said you did. Why are you upset?

You don't have to agree. If you think it's all good then it's ok. It's just my opinion. I have professional job that I value very much and am not about to do something stupid at work. If I want to discuss personal life I do it with my friends outside of work regardless if they are also my coworkers. Just my opinion

[Bill3]

It sounds like their relationship is still good.

[Hedgeleaf]

Thank you all for your replies.

I'll probably speak to my colleague about it tomorrow too so we can clear the air

[Talthybius]

I agree with TooManyDays. This in itself shouldn't be wrong, but at least to us it can come off as if his girlfriend has something to worry about. So she could get the same impression, wrongly or rightly so, she and we can't tell.

[TishaBuv]

I would tell him "I feel bad your girlfriend got upset about the condoms. I'm sorry if I made trouble for you."

What you did was innocent, you didn't mean any harm. You didn't do anything wrong. I agree with Trippin'.

[s4ndm4n2006]

agree with everyone in that you hven't done anything wrong, the girlfriend is insecure and her behavior is outrageous.

but I might add, I hope that when he said what he did in jest he was really just joking? sounds like that kind of made you think you did something wrong. I think it was kind of in bad taste to even joke that you ruined their relationship.

I don't really see an issue, here, neither with discussing contraception with male coworkers nor giving condoms to coworkers, male or female. I mean, I can see how people would see an issue with it, but I've worked in an unusual work culture (healthcare/emergency department) for 15 years--we discuss things with each other that, when I talk to my layperson friends, I realize aren't usual topics for coworker discussion, lol.