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#1
May 26, 2016, 03:01 PM
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So I've been seeing a guy for about a month, and our relationship is mainly sexual. We had sex the first time we met, and we haven't been on a real date yet. But I really like him and I think he likes me. Anyways, I've been thinking about asking him if he wants to meet my mom, or hang out with my friends with me, or come to family get togethers. I was just wondering if this would seem like I'm moving too fast or being too needy. I don't want to scare him away or make him think I'm taking this too seriously. Our relationship has been fairly casual, and I don't want him to think I'm getting too serious. Is it too soon for this kind of stuff? What should I do?
__________________
"The illusion of effortlessness requires a great effort indeed." |
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#2
May 26, 2016, 04:01 PM
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It sounds like he sees the relationship as more of friends with benefits. Question is, does he ever bring up taking you out? Of course you can make the suggestion too but I would wait until you guys have spent quality time getting to know each other without just sex. Give it a bit more time.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
 ilikecats, Trippin2.0
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#3
May 26, 2016, 04:08 PM
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I agree. Ask him on a real date to a meal or movies, and see how that goes before mentioning friends and family.
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| Bill3, ilikecats, Trippin2.0
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#4
May 26, 2016, 04:11 PM
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Honestly? If so far every meeting between you has involved sex, he might not be seeing this as any kind of relationship besides being a f*** buddy.
I'd really recommend starting out by inviting him to do things just the two of you - without sex. At least that way you can determine if he wants a relationship or just sex. With my ex, we met through friends. Even so, we didn't hang out with any friends for quite a while, we just got to know each other. Then again, each relationship is different. It all depends! But I think confirming that it is a relationship is kinda a big thing that needs to be done first.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| ilikecats, Trippin2.0
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#5
May 26, 2016, 07:47 PM
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Thanks for the replies guys! It sounds like a good idea to go on a date before having him meet my family or friends. He has mentioned things about going out to movies and stuff, but we haven't done it yet. He also mentioned having sex in the theater though, so I don't know if it'd be a date to him or just an exciting place to have sex. I guess I have to have the talk with him about what our relationship is and what he wants it to be. I hope that in itself doesn't scare him off. How do I go about bringing it up and asking what our relationship is to him? Rather it's just sex, or if it's something more too.
__________________
"The illusion of effortlessness requires a great effort indeed." |
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#6
May 26, 2016, 07:52 PM
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Quote:
Just flat out ask him "what am I to you?" You want to make sure there's a commitment before meeting the family. Nothing sucks like bringing him around too soon and you guys end up breaking up a week later. Been there, done that! |
| ilikecats
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#7
May 26, 2016, 10:38 PM
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Do you value yourself enough to be more than a **** buddy?
I think you do...in which case you know what to do. |
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#8
May 27, 2016, 04:44 AM
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I've been with my bf for 2 months now. I haven't met his parents yet. It feels too soon. Having said that we're all individuals so I don't know what your bf's take on that would be.
I think asking him to meet your mom is totally different to saying to him: "Hey, I'm catching up with some friends on Friday night ... want to come with me?" |
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#9
May 27, 2016, 05:23 AM
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I am sorry but you aren't in a relationship. If you don't go on dates and just have sex all the time then frankly he isn't seriously interested in you and just want sex so why would he be meeting your mom?
No, asking to have sex in a theater isn't the same as asking to see a show in a theater. How old are you? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Trippin2.0
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#10
May 27, 2016, 07:05 AM
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Something else to think about - if he does say he isn't interested in a relationship and just wants sex, how are you going to handle that? Are you ok with just having booty calls?
You need to be prepared that if he says he doesn't want a relationship.... Continuing to have sex won't make him change his mind. I'd second inviting him out with friends. Just don't introduce him as "my boyfriend" unless you know the status of the relationship. But if he agrees to hang out, and doesn't get upset if there is no sex, then it might be easier to ask.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| Trippin2.0, ~Christina
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#11
May 27, 2016, 12:34 PM
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This is not a relationship
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#12
May 27, 2016, 01:26 PM
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Quote:
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| Bill3
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#13
May 27, 2016, 01:50 PM
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I think that the test of whether he is interested in more than just sex is in his actions, not in whatever he might say in response to a question about your relationship. He can easily say that he wants to take you out on dates, not just sexual excursions, but when and how often does he actually do it?
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| A Red Panda, Trippin2.0
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#14
May 27, 2016, 02:07 PM
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I second Bill.
Actions speak louder than words, a combination of the two is even better. Before my bf and I made things official (although long time friends, we had a complex beginning) he would randomly turn down sex or declare a "no sex Saturday", and explain it was to make sure I understood that what we shared wasn't just sex. If he had just rejected me, I would not have taken that well, haha, but he took the time to explain that our unofficial yet exclusive relationship was more than glorious sex, and that he needed to make sure I really understood that. How to ask him? Outright, directly. What better way is there? Anything less leaves room for misinterpretation.
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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| A Red Panda, Bill3, ~Christina
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