emotional unavailability

So. I don't know if it was dumb but all of these police officers getting killed made me want to write this guy and ask him to stay safe and that he was in my prayers. He is a sheriff's deputy. It was a 2 line note wishing him well. I didn't expect an answer but he replied and said thanks and wished me well too. Well...today I get a message from him that says he does miss me but can't give me what I want. I replied to it, told him I'm not sure what it is he thought I wanted. But I did offer to hang out on a friendly level. In his ball court. I'm not sure if he will see that positively...or if I really want him to. But I have missed him, a lot. We'll see what happens. or doesn't happen. either way, I'm not going to be crazy over it.

First thing that really pops into my mind is that perhaps you've developed a coping mechanism. I do it and I think many of us do. When we get too close to someone, we freak out and bolt. I've done it a few times. I'm emotionally unavailable in some ways, but it really depends on who it is. Maybe because in the past you've been hurt repeatedly by people close to you, so you learned that being close = pain. It's how I feel. Might be worth pursuing for this if it's caused you grief for so long.