Bully brother

For many years my brother has bullied me. Not calling me names or being physical. He takes over the house, tells me what I should do, critical and disrespects property. I don't recall him bullying me as a kid, more adulthood. I put up with it for years. My parents say that's just the way he is, never defended me and told me to put up with it. I've had enough! My sister in law picks at me too.

My brother, sister in law, and two kids want to visit this summer. I made it clear that there is too much stress right now (true, I'm dealing with a lot of things such as my health) and it's not a good time to visit. Now my parents are angry at me. If they want to visit, fine. But I don't want to see them.

I have ptsd from past abuse. Nobody in my family knows. I also believe my ptsd is partly due to my brothers treatment of me.

Welcome to Psych Central, you'll find a lot of support here.

Good for you, it sounds like you are putting up strict boundaries. Put your health first and your family can stew in their juices.

Hello Monarch Butterfly: We all have to establish boundaries in order to protect ourselves from other people who, for whatever reason, may take advantage. It sounds like that's what you're doing so... good for you! It's sad your parents are now angry. But you have to do what's best for you. I wish you well...

I am glad that you are establishing firm boundaries in order to protect your physical and emotional well-being.

It takes a very brave, courageous and strong person to reduce or completely sever all contact with toxic members from our families of origin, and I'm glad to see that you care enough about yourself to say enough is enough!

I know it isn't easy, but it is doable, and I'm sending warm thoughts of encouragement and support to help you remain steadfast in your decision!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

You haven't said if this visit means staying with you. If this is the case there are ways to give your brother and family the message you just aren't prepared for this - like offering to arrange a motel/hotel.