[foirxvxl]

Mom says I'm not normal and she wants me to be normal. What is normal really? This is so tiring. I don't get what is not normal with me? I'm an introvert with a mild depression and social anxiety, I stay in my room all day, I sleep late until morning and wake up late in the afternoon. The thing is, I love staying up late. It's calming, no noise, it's just silence. I can do whatever I want and no one would complain. I can read a book, I can cry, I can talk with my online friends, I can think about how my life is going, I can do a lot of things in silence at midnight and nothing can stops me. And I also love sleep, I sleep a lot so I sleep until around 2 or 3 pm. I know it's kind of rebelling but it's holiday and I just want to be alone and enjoy my own company. But my mom always complains about it, what hurts the most is that she keeps calling me not normal. She keeps saying that I'm a bad daughter because I'm not 'normal' and she wants me to be 'normal'. I hate it because instead of wondering why I act this way, all she does is complaining. She never understands her own child, she doesn't give me an emotional support as a parent and one of the causes of my depression is her and my family. It's so frustrating. My life is so doomed and all I have got left is my dream to become a psychologist/activist. I want to study overseas because being a psychologist here is really underrated and I want to learn more. The possibility I could study overseas is 1 out of 5, which is quite impossible especially seeing how stubborn my mom is. And me being a 'rebel' is going to lessen the possibility of me being able to study overseas. It's like everything I do will end up in a bad way. So guys, please tell me, am I not normal? If I am not, how to be normal?

[Hairball]

I absolutely hate that word. If I were you I would sit her down and ask her what her definition of normal is. Let us know what she says!!!

[Sula B]

Originally Posted by Hairball

I absolutely hate that word. If I were you I would sit her down and ask her what her definition of normal is. Let us know what she says!!!

I agree. What is exactly is normal? And who gets to determine what the criteria is? You need to ask her what her definition is.

Sounds like mom is the pot calling the kettle black.

[foirxvxl]

Thank you for all of your concerns! But I'm not close with my mother and things will just heat up or will be awkward if I ask her. Nothing is going to change her mind. But thank you!

[Bill3]

It must be especially painful for your own mother to say that you are a bad daughter. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. Staying up late does not make you a bad daughter, and I do not believe that you are one.

(((((foirxvxl)))))

[Imokay2]

I'm a mom, and I just want the best for my kids. I would never tell them they are bad kids, because they aren't. And I would never tell them they aren't normal because that's a loaded word with a lot of negative connotations.
If they're choosing something bad for themselves I try to tell them what might be a better way of doing things. And they like to do the same things you do now. They are young and this is the one time in life they can take it easy. In a few years they'll have to enter the adult world and face life for themselves.
When I was their age I didn't get to do this. It was a lot harder. It seems like your mom is in a similar mindset-except stuck in a space where she hasn't gone beyond her reaction to you. All of this might be coming from a perspective of a wounded and stressed out person who doesn't have time or energy or inclination to think any deeper than judging you, not talking to you like a person. Maybe she comes from a mindset of kids not having a voice because that's what she had to do. Maybe she is giving you the life she wishes she had at your age.And you don't know it, because you've had the opportunity to be yourself and this is how it's always been.
I think you can take what I say and chew on it, if you want to be a counselor or psychologist you will need to learn to think of the bigger picture and see all sides objectively and doing active communication, that means being brave even with people you don't like. It will open the door for change and that will help you. Even though you don't get along with her be brave and calm and understand that you do have a voice and so does she, be ready to find a compromise. Good luck.

Sent from my SGH-T399 using Tapatalk

[mrvalancey]

It's tough to have a rocky relationship with someone. Maybe her words are triggered by her thoughts on the relationship she has with you, in that she wants to have some sort of connection, but can't seem to find what it is that can form that bond.

My mom and I don't connect at all. I ran to Morocco, Europe, and Australia to get away. There was even a point I stopped talking to her for 2 years. I thought living in other countries would be what could fix my issues with her, but it didn't. My mom and I began to write each other often and would talk on the phone while I was away, and it became clear that we are two people from two different worlds. I began empathizing with my mom and have grown more patient. It's a very give and take relationship, as we have to always strike a balance to not allow each other to get over emotional over things we simply don't understand, but it's not that bad once we figured it out.

[Nammu]

Have you thought about ignoring mom and getting a job so you can save up to go study where you want? What are your grades like you can maybe get a scholarship with decent grades, plus being active now in after school clubs, activities, volunteering and working. Dreams just don't happen, you need to work towards them. I think you sound perfectly normal for a teen.

[Clairvoyant Boy]

Originally Posted by foirxvxl

Mom says I'm not normal and she wants me to be normal. What is normal really? This is so tiring. I don't get what is not normal with me? I'm an introvert with a mild depression and social anxiety, I stay in my room all day, I sleep late until morning and wake up late in the afternoon. The thing is, I love staying up late. It's calming, no noise, it's just silence. I can do whatever I want and no one would complain. I can read a book, I can cry, I can talk with my online friends, I can think about how my life is going, I can do a lot of things in silence at midnight and nothing can stops me. And I also love sleep, I sleep a lot so I sleep until around 2 or 3 pm. I know it's kind of rebelling but it's holiday and I just want to be alone and enjoy my own company. But my mom always complains about it, what hurts the most is that she keeps calling me not normal. She keeps saying that I'm a bad daughter because I'm not 'normal' and she wants me to be 'normal'. I hate it because instead of wondering why I act this way, all she does is complaining. She never understands her own child, she doesn't give me an emotional support as a parent and one of the causes of my depression is her and my family. It's so frustrating. My life is so doomed and all I have got left is my dream to become a psychologist/activist. I want to study overseas because being a psychologist here is really underrated and I want to learn more. The possibility I could study overseas is 1 out of 5, which is quite impossible especially seeing how stubborn my mom is. And me being a 'rebel' is going to lessen the possibility of me being able to study overseas. It's like everything I do will end up in a bad way. So guys, please tell me, am I not normal? If I am not, how to be normal?

I am sorry you are going through this,I had the same struggles but with both parents.
Bad anxieties and depression was my whole teenagehood.
I was always the odd kid out.
Being the only son in the family I guess my stepdad figured I had so much responsibility to live up to.But instead of doing the things he wanted,I did thing's to make me the outcast.
I liked Reading,Writing stories,Walking in graveyards,Working with animals at shelters.I was such a shy kid and i`m still a very shy adult.I have bad social anxiety.My mom hated me being interested paranormal,She always told me I need to be a "normal" kid and do what "normal" kids do.I never had any close friends at school.I didn't dress normal,I always loved the 1920-1930 era style clothes since I was 5.That's all my closet was made out of and it's still made out of that type of clothing.I never wore any "Normal" clothes (I mean,what's normal clothes anyways?).
So people at my school always looked at me weird,even today I still get looks when I go out in public or when i`m out at old castles or graveyards and people just happen to be there.
I hate the word normal because to me,no one is normal.Everyone is different,not that same.So who get's to say what normal is?

If you ever need to talk,I`m here.

You say you are close. This would perhaps suggest that you are in a 'codependent relaionshio'with her