[gonegirl99]

I don't want to make this long so I'll just say this. My mom has always had a favorite, I was the scapegoat, I fought with my sister, now it's been a month since my "mother" has kicked me out over a little fight but my sister gets to stay at the house. Now after 24 years of normalcy, the entire family on my mother's side has turned against me ever since I've had suicidal threats (this is not a thread about suicide) but they've had no compassion for me and refused to stop speaking to me.

I have no friends WHATSOEVER, extremely socially awkward never dated, struggling with being in the closet as a bi/gay woman, now I have to live with my homophobic father and a half brother who does not like me.

I also cannot drive, dad is an idiot and fails on teaching me how to drive and has a bad temper.

I only have a minimum wage job and not enough to finish up my last semester of college.

What is the point in my life? No one really gives a **** about me at all!!!

[Talthybius]

From my experience, if you don't change your life around deliberately, it won't change.

Remove all the negative people from your life and fiend people who are the kind of persons that you'd like to be.

Leave family. Go get a college degree. Learn to make friends/be social.

[gonegirl99]

It's not that simple with the job I have. See? Not a lot of replies. Proof of no one giving a **** about me.

I think you have a bit of maturing ahead of you. I think it would be healthier if you moved out of the house when you are financially able to do so. And I know you likely will say your work wage is too low. You're quite likely correct but you can't give up there. You are 24, an adult. There are options. You can start looking for a higher-paying job. Don't quit your current job until you find a new, better job.

While you are job hunting, you can start saving money to move out. Finances come down to wants versus needs. Cut back your spending on wants - an example of a want could be nail polish. Price compare and shop sales on your needs. An example of a need is toilet paper. You'll be surprised at how much you can save by limiting purchases of "wants" and buying your needs at the lower-priced stores.

You can start exploring housing options. Find out what the going rate is for rental housing. Houses require more upkeep. It probably would be better for you to price out apartment rentals.

Is a one-bedroom apartment too expensive? Then live with a roommate in a two bedroom apartment. That is usually more affordable.

Break down everything into small steps like this and you'll be on your way to a better living environment.

It sounds like you are suffering with a lot. (((hugs))) I recommend going to a school counselor, have them help you sign up for all school aide you can get. Also a network of peer support of others in similiar situations that you can talk with and hang out with. There is more going on here and it needs talking about. You hang in there Dear, I empathize with you. We had 13 people in our house constantly. We had a picnic table and benches in the kitchen to eat meals at. We took turns going to the bathroom. We had hand me downs and had to share everything. It was hard and difficult. Now both of my parents are dead, we buried my mom this April 2016. We all say things we don't mean and in time we make peace with ourselves and the ghosts of our past. My wish for you is to find peace now and be able to enjoy your family before they are gone forever out of your life. You are a very special person with a lot of meaning. Your family cannot walk in your shoes for you are unique. learn to accept who you are and love yourself... many blessings to you and the success in your future...

[Crazy Hitch]

You need professional support

You're going through a lot and with the lack of family support I'd recommend you see someone.

[divine1966]

Take drivers Ed class. Take a loan to finish college. Seek counseling. Look for roommates rather than living with dad

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[Quarter life]

As I gather my strength and will to embark on an exciting adventure in my life, I lament the years lost and opportunities squandered. Time has seemed to stand still for me, years & years of wading through bouts of debilitating depression, coupled with my fear and dread of the world.

Mental illness bought on by an accident of birth, trauma, environment, faulty brain chemistry or associated illness/circumstances… is for all of us a heavy cross to bear, and is almost always exacerbated by those around us who perpetually tell us that we just aren't good enough, that we are damaged, that we have no value as citizens of the world.....a heartbreaking waste of life.

So where to from here?...how do we find our place in the world? A place where our endeavors are valued? A place where we can strive, accomplish and be all the better for it? Well to start with we need to be realistic….I would have loved to have been a dancer…but at my stage in life this just isn’t going to happen. However…I do have skills, bankable skills that I have slowly nurtured over my years of dark exile.

Yet choosing how and where to use these skills is the hard part…Self doubt, fear of ridicule, and indeed failure all come into play causing us to procrastinate and bemoan the inertia of our lives. I spent many many years in therapy and medicated...it wasn’t until I started implementing changes by modifying my thinking and behavior that I began to move forward...It was like the gears on my life had been out of whack, the only way forward it seemed was to realign them.

Several years ago...I took a long hard look at my list of personal beliefs and my reactions to the world, including my constant worrying of what others thought of me. Some of my ideas were keeping me safe, but most were toxic, outdated or downright ridiculous. I have now come to appreciate that 99% of people care little about what I think or what I do...they care more about their own lives. I now understand that I can’t wait around for others to tolerate, validate, laud or honour me...I must do that for myself. The worst choice we can make is waiting for others to choose for us, or waiting for permission to choose, as we may spend our lives choosing nothing at all.

Should I have chosen sooner?... of course I should have, but what is more important is that I have chosen NOW…and am so excited to see what the world has in store for me……….Life is about taking small steps to reach big goals. And unfortunaly we must be willing to eat a lot of sh** to get there.

[Talthybius]

Originally Posted by gonegirl99

It's not that simple with the job I have.

If it is about money, working all your life doing a min-wage job isn't the right thing to do. You should quit it.

See? Not a lot of replies. Proof of no one giving a **** about me.

Really?